Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Employment (01/26/12)
TITLE: Help Wanted!
By Dimple Suit
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Fear. The results offering no hope of survival, I sit frozen in time, shaking with the reality of finality. Over twenty years I give him my heart, we share our dreams, and we work together for a better tomorrow to get here? He is leaving me. Alone, empty, and numb I cry out in desperation for our shattered dreams, our love, our blueprint.
Ironic. I start work for a global corporation and five months later, I marry. New light opens doors for learning and adventure; fresh opportunities await me with promise of future security and aging together. Our love grows stronger, sharing the lows and highs of life. We plan and explore. Now, laid-off from the same corporation and five months later, my husband is gone. The light is off. The doors slam shut. I lose my focus for I cannot see beyond the heart-breaking pain of his death. Yesterday is lost; fearful to face tomorrow as today weighs me down, I mourn, deeply.
Alone. Confusion, anxiety, and guilt greet me daily. Contract jobs, government aid, and the generous support of family and friends help meet essentials. Elusive, happiness is a fleeting visitor before despair settles in again. I close myself off, folding my misery into my battered psyche telling others I am fine when truthfully, I am a mess, lost in a sea of pain and uncertainty.
Urgency. A year or so into my widow walk, I feel a pull to get up and move, to make a difference. I vehemently fight it. Enjoying the obstacles but secretly, begrudgingly, delighting in Your removal of every one of them as You take me on a tour of churches. Iciness cracks.
I walk from cold bitterness into warm embraces. I know this is special love, but I remain skeptical. I repeatedly return for the inclusion soothes me, anesthesia to my aching heart and a balm for my battered soul. I find forgiveness, laughter, and encouragement. No condemnation, no judgments, I find only pure love and devotion to You. A measure of joy enfolds me.
Release grows within me as I absorb the teaching of Your word, sing praises, and worship You. I seek a peace only You can give. Light floods my soul and anchors of darkness release my heart to Your faithful love as I grow in my walk with You. I hear You, feel You comfort me and I know I am not alone. I never have been for Your promises are true. I eagerly arise to face sunrise for I see hope and opportunity in You. I look to the heavens at night and revel in the twinkling of stars, Your shining love for me. Grateful for the time with my beloved husband, I rest in You.
Everything is according to Your plan and time. It takes me a while to appreciate You have my best interests in mind. I now understand so much more. I eagerly expect Your growing presence. Thank You for leading me to realize You love me, are always with me. Thank You for using the trials as testimony to Your grace and mercy.
Now, I kneel before You Lord, reveling in the enlightenment of salvation; illumination floods my soul, dispelling darkness. You are my CEO, Christís Eternal Offering. Only You can fill the void, using Your gifts where You need me. You are my CFO, Christian Fellowship Obedience. You desire me in the body of Christ, to be loving and forgiving as Jesus loves and forgives me. You are my Treasurer for all riches are in glory with You Lord. All the debts are paid. You bless me abundantly, daily, and I praise You!
My best friend, Jesus, You comfort me, carry me, walk with me. You give me wise counsel, celebrating eternal life and unconditional love, promising me reunion. You are the divine intervention when storms threaten. You are my Pilot, my Navigator, and my anchor. You are everything.
For all You are, for all I can be for You, I ask You Jesus, how may I serve You today?
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