The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/01/11
I am laughing throughout this entry. The part where the MC "downloaded" by a palm tree - made me chuckle aloud.

I don't know if this is the "downloading" the judges are looking for - but it got my vote. I enjoyed it, and especially how creative the story was in which the topic was being used.

Good job- thanks! God Bless~
12/01/11
This is the most hilarious and most unusual article I've read so far. God bless you, I hope it wins something.
12/02/11
These two illustrations are the kind that will rise up in your mind years after the fact, painting your face as red as it was during the original humiliation. Well done! You grabbed my attention from the first and never let it go!
12/02/11
Very funny, very humiliating! But I did find it very hard to read all the way to the end without feeling a bit squeamish. You certainly have a knack for communicating with humour, though, and did it well with this entry! Well done.
Oh this is sooooo funny. I was right next to your brother, bending over and laughing. You painted a wonderful picture for me. I'm the type of person who likes a good poo story and you provided that.

You may hear this more than once but you really did miss the topic. I know you used the words in a creative way but because the top 10 stories each quarter are published in an anthology (with this period being computer terms) it is important to use the topic in that manner.

This is a nitpicky comment, but it was my first thought. You used such vivid words and I really liked them. However, when I read the word void, it made me pause for a second. That seems like such a medical term. I know you were trying to be sensitive but I think it would have fit your story better if you just said pee. But that's just my opinion because as a nurse in my notes I would use the term voiding.

In my book, you scored high points for creativity. I thought the start was wonderful and the ending spectacular. Your desire to entertain and amuse the reader was fully met for me. This is a story that I will remember for quite some time. Excellent writing!
12/03/11
LOVED IT! LOVE, LOVE, LOVED IT!!!

Writing humorously is one of my ... things. Finding fun, descriptive words to use in a humorous story is one of the most fun parts of writing this type of a story and you did it so well. (The word "void" worked fin for me, BTW!)

I, too, wonder how well it fits the topic. Even if the judges don't care that it's not computer related and rate the "download" part of it high, I wonder if fear the little thrown in bit about "upload" in the last sentence might be the weakest part.

I was drawn in from the first sentence and you held my attention throughout. Excellent writing and I'm sure it will score well overall. Thanks for the laugh and, by the way, I have to wonder if it is a true story. Oh my poor child!!! ;)
12/03/11
Okay, I just realized the title includes the words "true story". So, yes, my heart goes out to you! ;) You are a brave woman to share such embarrassing antics!
12/12/11
From what I can tell of the previous comments to date, I am the first male to offer one. I too thought this was hysterical.

Understandably, I squirmed a bit as i read (as you ladies probably talk about these things with each other all the time). But it was such an enjoyable read and the flow was excellent.

Honestly, one of the things that really stuck out to me was the relationship with your brother. I know he was laughing at you in both scenes but in both ... he was there. I just got the sense of a close brother-sister relationship that has shared ... everything.

Really wonderful work ... and that from the male point of view ;-)