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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Download/Upload (11/17/11)

TITLE: Info Highway
By Wesley Hesketh


Iím not very good with computers,
most of the time I can get mine to crash.
When Iím told I must download some information, I can set aside an hour or two for a 20-minute program. You see my computer was made during WWII, and takes eight days to do one thing. If you want to know what I want for ChristmasÖ.

Yesterday I tried to retrieve some data from my bank. After the fifth try I just called them. I found I could download things much quicker into my head.

I didnít know how bad I was until I was asked to upload something. I patiently filled out the forms, and typed in the information, but when I tried to send it, it disappeared.
Have you every seen a grown man cry?

Iím glad that uploading to that big computer in the sky is way easier.
Now itís God that has to have that everlasting patience. But you know He is good at that. Plus he already knows what you need.

When He gives me the answers to my cries. He makes them plain and simple. Iím so glad. But wouldnít you know, after He sends it, true to my hopeless form, I hit the wrong key and erase it.
Do you know how hard it is to ask God to repeat Himself??

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This article has been read 418 times
Member Comments
Member Date
C D Swanson 12/01/11
I enjoyed this short and to the point entry.

I smiled at this: "You see my computer was made during WWII..." We all can relate to that sometime or another.

Good job- God Bless~
Jenna Dawn12/03/11
This is fun take on the topic. I like how it tied in with how quickly we "erase" what God has "downloaded" into us.

There were a few punctuation errors, particularly with commas. Your first sentence, as written, should be two separate sentences, while the first two sentences in the last paragraph should be one (When He gives me the answers ...).

Over all, this was nicely written, a clever concept and an ending that made me grin. :)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/03/11
This made me smile. I can so relate to the MC. Computers tend to break down as soon as I enter the room.

I noticed there were a few places where the spacing was off. To avoid this, make sure you hit preview before you submit. This will allow you to see how the article will look. A good hint so you don't hit submit accidentally is to leave the level and title part blank until you have proofed your piece and are ready to submit.

I think you did a lovely job covering this difficult topic. You pulled me into your story right away. The ending put a smile on my face. This is a well-written,enjoyable read.
Lillian Rhoades 12/06/11
A delightful shortie and laced with humor. Right on topic, and you waste no words getting to the main point of view. I'm certain you were using hyperbole when you stated the age of your computer.:-) Some improvement needed in sentence structure and punctuation. Ex. Incomplete sentence - "When He gives me answers to my cries." Also, a comma is needed after, "After the fifth try...."

I'm not sure if the parting
line was a good fit to tie your main points together, but I could be wrong.:-)

Your spiritual comparison has the potential for a great devotional
Hiram Claudio12/12/11
Interesting little story! I liked it and sensed that there was more message and story that could be told. Feel free to expand your thoughts especially when you were so far under the 750 word limit.

Nice writing!
C D Swanson 12/16/11
Congratulations on your win. God bless you~
C D Swanson 12/16/11
That was supposed to read HR win/placing. But it is all the same - you received recognition so congrats! God Bless~