Does this number scare you? Just wondering.
Because it scares me.
“Why did I let it get to this point?” I moan.
Personally, I blame Facebook. Every notification, message, and comment from the social media site goes straight to your email.
Facebook is Facebook stalking me.
An equally scary thought.
I find it highly unfair and insanely annoying that my spam box is only at sixty-three. Half the e-mails in this box should be in the spam box.
The fact that I never go through it all and move it to the spam box has nothing to do with the issue.
I spend half an hour just deleting e-mails. I’ve actually gotten pretty far. The ones I’m deleting now are about a year old. Some of the interesting ones grab me, and I stop to reread them. They take me back to a year ago, dragging me down a highway full of crazy, good, and bad memories.
These are messages from when I was engaged, and just before that, there are messages from the infamous break-up.
I don’t like to relive the latter.
Except for one message.
The one message that got us back together.
I can’t help myself. I go to the old mail box.
The old mail box, which is at a respectable thirty-eight messages, is where I keep messages that I’ll want for later.
I scroll down to the one I want.
Back when we were dating, my husband liked to e-mail me just as much as he liked to text or call me. However, his brother’s e-mail address was very similar to mine. So sometimes I would get an e-mail meant for his brother or he would get one meant for me. It could be rather funny at times.
And a little awkward.
Three months after the break-up, I was still withering in pain. I hadn’t seen it coming. I thought everything was fine between us. But when he ended things, it became apparent that everything was not fine. The day I found that e-mail in my inbox, well, an anvil could have landed in my bedroom and I wouldn’t have noticed.
I remember the questions that darted through my head. What could he possibly want to say to me? Why? What was he trying to do to me? Did he miss me? I had felt hope at the sight of the message and anger, too.
I had read the first two lines before realizing that it was meant for Peter, James’ brother. I knew that I should have stopped reading, but I couldn’t help myself…
I can’t get her out of my mind. I love her. I thought breaking up was the right thing to do. I just know what I’m like, Peter. I wanted her to have better than me. I fail so much. God knows how terrible I can be! I can’t even make the time to spend with God, and He is the love of my soul! How could I ever be a decent husband to a woman like her? Kate deserves better, but I can’t let go.
It hadn’t taken James long to figure out what had happened. The next day he came to see me about the e-mail. We had a very long talk. He confessed his fears, and told me how he really felt.
He asked if there was any way I could forgive him. And take him back.
In case you’re not catching on, I said yes.
One month later, we got engaged. One year later and here we are, happily married.
If James knew I was reading this, he would say, “You are such a silly, romantic sap.”
I’d say, “Yup, and you love it.”
He would then sweetly reply, “Baby, that’s because I love you.”
God has been so good to me!
And everyday I thank Him for silly things, like my overflowing e-mail.
Even if it is a pain to go through.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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