The Official Writing Challenge
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11/17/11
This was so clever and well written, I loved it. The topic was spot on- and the message about God was beautifully brought across.

I loved the imagery while the MC was taking a walk,and the thoughts within the MC's mind.

The ending was especially lovely- praying for the souls of all the people who elicited the SPAM mail. That was touching. Great job!

God Bless~
11/18/11
This is my favourite entry this week! So well written and with such a beautiful message presented. I loved the line about Jesus not dying for "Occupant", but for 'me'! And to then end the way you did, loved it! Praying for the spammers! Ha! Who would normally do that?! Thank you for a lovely read, well done.
This is a really sweet story. I could see it being worked into a devotional.

Use action verbs instead of an exclamation point to get your sense of excitement across. Also when God answers you, make sure you have his words in a new paragraph as you should start a new one each time you switch speakers.

It's funny how little things can bug us. I love how God stops us and reminds us of what rally matters. You did a nice job expressing your message.
11/23/11
This is a nice story with an interesting take on the topic. At first I thought it wasn't so unique, as many stories involve characters getting irritated with spam, yet the way you turned it around to praying for the spammers was creative.

The beginning could have been better ... could have grabbed me more, and I'm not sure why you used an exclamation mark.

I liked your description of fall. However, when you mentioned "fall" and "autumn" you capitalized them both. Seasons aren't capitalized unless they are within a title or the beginning of a sentence.

You also switched from past tense to present tense when you wrote, "It’s Fall here on Long Island." Eventually you went back to past tense.

Overall this is a nicely written and peaceful sort of story. I enjoyed going on the walk with the MC in the fall. Great job.
11/29/11
This touched on something I hadn't put into words. Unsolicited mail doesn't care about us.
Great imagery and thoughts.
11/29/11
What a nice title! It absolutely captures the message of your piece. I concur with most of the previous comments, with a few additions.:-) In writing 1st person stories, it's often difficult to steer clear of "I". Most of your paragraphs began with this letter, and it also cluttered your narrative. Try to find creative ways to avoid this. Ex. You wrote: "I heard His voice tell me." You might have written..."His voice spoke to me." Another ex: "I saw a few squirrels skirting pass me." What you see has already been established in the earlier sentences. You need only to describe what you see. Hence - "A few squirrels skirted past as they..." In both cases the "I" is no longer needed. Try to see how many of this personal pronouns you can eliminate. This would help to make this an even more outstanding devotional
11/29/11
Clever, title! You were definitely on topic, and you gave a very descriptive account of the Spam game. Some improvements needed on the crafting of the poem. i.e. rhythm. Ex. The word "surely" interrupted the rhythm. In Jan's Basic Grammar which you can find on the Forums, there's an excellent thread on how to improve your poetry skills.

Lots of potential. Keep writing!
11/29/11
So sorry that we can't preview before we submit; maybe someday. :-( Obviously, the previous comment was meant for another entry. My bad!
12/01/11
Congratualtions Hiram!

This was one of my "personal favorites." Brilliant job of bringing forth an important message, and it was well written. I wouldn't change a thing! I can see this being published in a Christian Magazaine. Nicely done.

Great job! God Bless you~
12/01/11
I was so happy for you I didn't notice my typo for magazine! Congrats again-God Bless~
12/01/11
Congratulations, Hiram!