The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/17/11
Beautiful message throughout, and nicely written. I especially liked the last line.

Good job! God Bless~
I think you covered the topic in a creative way. While many may have a similar message, you had a fresh spin on it.

I think your story would be stronger if you worked on your flow a bit. You abruptly seem to jump from one thought to the next. Just rearranging some of the sentences would help ease the transition.

Your message is strong and clear. A lot of people have expressed the same concerns. The country is certainly changing.