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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Spam (not the meat) (11/03/11)

TITLE: Jennifer's Secret
By
11/08/11


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At first, Jennie thought that what she saw on her email site was nothing more than spam but when she looked closer at the properties of the email, she saw there was something else included. She couldn’t tell who sent the email because all she saw on the Sender side was, "It’s Me." Inside the email were the words, “I know your secret, Jennie and soon your boss will also know.” This was a bit disturbing to Jennie because she did have just one secret.

“What should I do?” she thought. She had to get going on her work for her boss, Mr. Wilson and she was in a bit of a rush but it would be on her mind, if she didn’t. So, she did some checking and research on It’s Me but all she could find were sites that were advertising “how to meet someone special.” She continued to search.

Jennie wasn’t married but she was happy with her life. She had a wonderful collie named Lady Girl and her work at a publishing company, Wilson and Joshua Publishers, was going well. Jennie also had a boyfriend, James Whitehall, who lately had been wanting her to come live with him. He realized that she wasn’t ready for such a commitment; so he told her he understood and that he would wait until she was ready. So, her life was full and she wasn’t prepared for this “strange intrusion.”

After she spent about an hour trying to find out the source of It’s Me and not finding any concrete answers, she left the subject alone and went back to her work. It was several days later when she was busy at her computer when she received another email from It’s Me. She opened the email and saw the same message, “I know your secret, Jennie and the next time you see my email, you will know that your boss has one, too.”

Now Jennie was really worried because soon, her boss would know her secret. The next couple of days were pure torture. She didn’t know what to do. Should she tell her employer about what happened or wait to see what happened?

It was around two in the afternoon on a Wednesday when another email from It’s Me arrived. She opened the email and read, “I’m spilling the beans on you today, Little Missy. I saw what you did last week when you were talking with Mr.Gimball, your fellow co-worker. I was in the next room and I heard you tell him that you would give him a special publishing deal and that you would push the publishing deal through because you had a special relationship with your boss, James Wilson. Of course, he now knows, if he’s read his email and I know he checks his email, often. So, you can kiss your job goodbye!”

As soon as Jennie read the email she rushed to Mr. Wilson’s office, knocked on the door and rushed in. He was at his computer and looking puzzled.

She began, “Mr. Wilson, I…..”

“I know why you’re here, Jennie and I am very disappointed. I just read this email about Mr. Gimball and what happened between you and him.”

“Yes sir. I am so sorry. That was so wrong of me. I don’t know what I was thinking; only that I thought his work was very good and I wanted to ensure that he was on board with our company.”

Mr. Wilson let out a sigh and then said, “Jenny, you have worked for me for several years and I have always trusted you. I should fire you right now but I won’t because I know you meant well. But, don’t ever do something like this again. Always come to me, first, O.K.? And, by the way, I know who sent this email and he will soon have a pink slip. Take care, Jenny and always keep me in the loop!”

“Yes, I will and thank you for being so understanding!”

Jenny walked away thanking God for being so good and once again paving the way for her.


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This article has been read 217 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD (Camille) Swanson 11/17/11
This was an interesting take on the topic. "Threatening email" akin to a "bullying" one. Technically considered spam because both are obviously unwanted. So nice job of contriving a story within the topic.

Nicely done! God Bless~
Helen Curtis11/18/11
Very intriguing and a good read. It had me wanting to know who was It's Me, and what did they have over Jennifer?! I like your writing style, and with a bit of 'tightening up' this would make an excellent mystery (by this I mean trying to take the suspense to another level or two, drawing out the sinister meaning behind the message). I really did like this story, well done.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/19/11
You hooked me with the title. The first paragraph then grabbed me too and I was eager to keep reading.

Some of the sentence were a little awkward and I stumbled over them. Having someone read your story aloud will help you catch those sentences. For example:
She had to get going on her work for her boss, Mr. Wilson and she was in a bit of a rush but it would be on her mind, if she didn’t.
At first I thought Mr. Wilson and her boss both were in a rush. Just by adding a comma after Mr. Wilson, will show that it is a phrase telling the reader that the boss' name is Mr. Wilson.

I think you did a great job building the suspense. I also really enjoyed the ending. I thought it was great that the blackmailer was fired. Nice job.
Glynis Becker 11/26/11
A great plot, and I agree with the others that with some extra editing and a little more "showing" rather than "telling" this would be fantastic into an expanded story. Great job!
Lillian Rhoades 11/28/11
Overall, the skeleton is here for a good suspense story. I thought you captured the topic and did so from a different, and unique angle.

How well crafted was the story?...As mention, there was a lot more telling than showing. Ex. You wrote: "Jennie was really worried"...Instead of saying she was worried, describe her behaviour, her facial expressions. Use more action verbs rather than passive verbs (was, is). I'm still learning how to do this.:-)

I like how you introduced dialogue. The conclusion was adequate, but did not live up to the suspense that eventually solved the mystery.