The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
11/03/11
Wow, that's riveting! Very creative and well written.

I saw a few small things to nitpick:

I'm guessing "pastured" is meant to be "pastored"?

Atheist should not be capitalized. It is not a proper name ... not a name of a religion. (Or beginning of a sentence.)

"surly" should be "surely".

I'm guessing your formatting changed when you submitted it. Did you mean to have so many spaces between paragraphs?

I believe using actual numbers to number your weekly entries would have been more appropriate, however, even if writing out the words ... in "Week One Hundred and twelve" ... it looks like you forgot to capitalize "Twelve".

My first thought when I read "they were taking away my God" is that nobody could take God away, but I get what the point is. I might have written that they were "attempting" to take away my God, and then follow it with the fact that they can't.

This is an excellent entry. Very memorable, good ending, and I'm sure it will do well in the judges.
This was really interesting. The start grabbed me and made me want to keep reading. You may have wanted to put the newspaper article in italics.

I did notice a couple of minor errors. Started instead of stated. Pastured instead of pastored. (although I'm sure spell-Check corrected itbecause pastor is usually considered amain not a verb)

I think your weakness criteria was creativity. There have been numerous stories about this exact subject. However, I still enjoyed reading it and think it is a message that bears repeating.

The ending, though somewhat predictable was still a strong conclusion. Overall, I think this was a powerful well-written story.

11/06/11
Outstanding piece! Great insight, and a lot of thought provoking moments throughout.

Creative and well written storyline. Thanks! God Bless~
11/08/11
I found this way out, but being an end-time person I enjoyed it very much and could see this actually happening and the unique way that the pastor dealt with it. Great stuff!
Good futuristic adventure. I think I understand the setting and time, but suggest that most readers may not. The story is prophetic,realistic and compelling, while on topic.
11/10/11
This is an awesome piece...I love Bible Prophecy, and this really spoke of the last days. God bless you and thanks for sharing this riveting story.

One more thing, have you thought of turning this story into a book?

I read most of the entries in intermediate, and this is my favorite so far...
11/17/11
CONGRATS ON YOUR WIN! I "told" you it would rate well with the judges. ;)

You beat me out, darn it!

Congrats :)
11/17/11
COngratulations on your well deserved win! God Bless~