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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Blog (10/20/11)

TITLE: Jennifer's Blog


Jennifer wanted so much to work on a blog but she didn't feel qualified. Only 21 years old and in her last year of college, she just didn't feel that she had "what it takes" to write an interesting and helpful blog.

It was on a beautiful fall day when she met Stan Wellington, that everything changed. She was walking away from school and heading toward her car, when she met Stan. He was walking behind her and as he came closer to her, she accidentally dropped her books and almost caused Stan to trip and fall.

"I'm so sorry about this. My books just slipped from my hands. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Not to worry. I'm Stan Wellington and you are?"

"Jennifer Wisely. Thank you for being so kind. I'm on my way to lunch. Would you like to join me? There's a nice little place just down the road--Mike's Pizzeria?"

"Well, actually I had plans but maybe just for a little while."

They enjoyed lunch and found out that they had a lot in common such as helping the elderly, writing and wanting to make a difference in life. As they continued to talk, Jennifer begn thinking about writing a blog. After the lunch they decided to meet again on the weekend and maybe see a movie.

Later that day, she sat down and began drafting up ideas for a blog. She began listing her ideas:

1. Write a blog on Effective Communication Skills.
2. Write a blog on Why Making and Fulfilling Goals are Vital for a Good Life.
3. How One Person Can Change your Life.

As she thought about each topic, she decided that she would write about people and how some people can change your life forever. Of course, she began to write about Stan and why he so impressed her.

As the months went by she and Stan became close and as their friendship continued, so did her blog. She decided then and there that her blog would go on forever--at least for as long as she was alive because the blog had taken on a life of its own--with memories and life changing events she would never forget.

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This article has been read 439 times
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Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/04/11
This is a sweet love story. That's not usually my favorite genre but you did it justice. :)

You may want to change up some of your sentence structure. For example, in my opinion, this sentence: It was on a beautiful fall day when she met Stan Wellington, that everything changed. would be easier to read like this: Everything changed on the beautiful, fall day when she met Stan.

You had a great start. I immediately could relate to your MC. I don't think Icould write a blog that anyone would be interested in. The ending came naturally and summed up your message. Great things may happen when we step outside of our comfort zone.

Allison Egley 11/05/11
I like this.

I felt like you could have developed this a bit further. I don't know if word count got you, but I'd have spent a bit more time on the relationship between the MC and Stan.

I had to chuckle at the books falling out of her hands... Things like that always happen in front of an attractive member of the opposite gender, huh? ;)
C D Swanson 11/06/11
I thought this was sweet and so enjoyable. I really liked it. Thanks. God Bless~
Jenna Dawn11/06/11
This is a sweet story.

When I first read that she asked Stan to go to lunch, it seemed weird to me. I guess it's because my first vision of Stan was as an older man, not a student. I'm thinking, "Why is a young girl asking some man, a total stranger, to lunch?"

A bit more description of Stan, clarifying his age and possibly his handsome looks might be good here. It would add interest if the reason she dropped her books was because she was distracted her attraction to him. Maybe that's what you intended, but I didn't catch that.

It just occurred to me that I may have thought of Stan as older because of his name. When choosing names, I often do a Google search for names of people born in a certain era. If Stan is supposed to be a college student, I might search for popular baby names from the '80s.

Nice job. :)
Kristine Baker11/06/11
I liked this story and wanted to know what handsome qualities Stan had that made her drop her books.
Randy Foncree11/07/11
This was nice and quaint...God bless you in your writings...I enjoyed the read...
djvenzke Venzke11/08/11
I like your approach to the subject. I agree that a couple more drafts would have help clear up some issues in grammar and character development. Keep writing and developing your skills and obvious talent.
Nancy Bucca11/13/11
You had a nice story here, but it felt as if it ended too quickly. I wanted to know more about what happened with Stan. But thanks for sharing.
C D Swanson 11/17/11
Congratulations on your HR win! Nicely done! God Bless~