I lay in the top bunk bed, afraid to close my eyes. Thoughts like “I may not wake up, and if not where would I go?” swirled through my head. So I began my search to find the answer to this unsettling question.
It started with fear - “And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.” Job 28:28 (KJV)
The second part of my search was to listen friends, family, Sunday School teachers and even at the age of 12, even gleaned a sentence now an then, from the Pastor.
“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Romans 10:17 (KJV)
I began looking around at the lives of others. Some had turned to God and found sweet release. Some had drowned their fears with alcohol and fast living. Even the adolescent me could see the difference and wanted the one with the most desirable end.
Years passed as I tried desperately to forget my fear and abandon my search, until complete adulthood brought back those adolescent fears and took up the search again and turned to the Book. The Holy Bible from whence all the promises of an afterlife were proclaimed.
This was when I really learned about the person of Jesus Christ.
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” John 1:1 (KJV)
Yes I learned it, but still I could not grasp the meaning of one’s sacrifice for another. Nor could I apply it to my life.
The next method of searching was through prayer. I prayed, “God please let me know I am yours.” Again through His Word He revealed I was not one of His.
“He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.”
I John 2:9 (KJV)
Finally the answer came when I was willing to surrender my search and admit there was nothing I could do to gain this gift.
The results came in a bold type across the monitor of my mind, when I stepped from death to life and He said in my heart, “It is all ok, there is nothing you can do, I did it all for you.”
The greatest search engine of all time - “The Holy Spirit” led me to my salvation experience. He will lead you too. Begin with clicking in your heart this question:
“Where will I go if I were to die today?”
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