The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I really, really liked this. Your MC is so childlike and innocent. You did a nice job with this piece. I believed it like I was watching it unfold. Below is my opinion of the rating categories based on a 0-5 scale.

Topic: 3.5 You did a nice job of combining the mC's search for the truth with the topic.

Creativity: 3.3 I thought this was a fresh approach.

Craft: 3 You had a few typos and sentences that were awkward but overall presented a believable scenario.

Start: 3.0 You drew me in.

End: 3.2 I thought it was a good ending that didn't feel forced. I liked the last line.

Flow: 3.3 You did A nice job moving from paragraph to paragraph and kept me interested.

Comphresion: 3.5 I think you had a clear message and really told the reader what is on your heart.

Publishable 3.6 I think this would make a great Sunday School take home sheet.

Great job! I was right there watching you, and almost inside your mind as you began your search of Jesus. Loved it.

On topic and a beautiful message too. Thank you. God Bless~
Your strength is criterion #2 (unique, fresh, memorable). This was a totally different approach, and I really appreciated it.

Your weakness was #7 (flow). It was a bit choppy, and I wasn't sure why the narrator referred to herself as a Christian in the 1st few paragraphs, when her later research showed that she was not yet saved.

This was firmly on topic (#1) and showed immense creativity with what seemed like a very limiting topic.
I loved the beginning!

I thought the MCs thought processes were lovely, a bit like talking to oneself - which I can relate to!

The layout was so easy to read and the flow of the dialogue was, for the most part, good and I only had to stop and re-read once or twice.

The title fits the story so well, as we modern-day Nicodemuses use whatever means we can to search for Christ.

I really liked this. Well done.
There were a couple of points in this that confused me, like Jan I couldnít understand her referring to herself as a ďgood Christian girlĒ in the beginning and later seeming to have no knowledge of Christianity. Also, there was a line that said ďThe story is about a man named Nicodemus who sneaks away to talk to some guy named Jesus.Ē ďSome guy named JesusĒ comes across as she had no idea who Jesus was, yet prior to that she had put in JESUS CHRIST, SON OF GOD to search, so she clearly knew who Jesus was to have put that in the search engine.

But those aside, I enjoyed this story and peeking in on the girlís thoughts! The story had lots of great visual detail, especially as she was browsing among the books!! It was a creative way to use the topic and it was a very delightful read! I liked the ending too. Good job!

Thank you for an interesting story. I enjoyed it very much.
Congratulations for ranking 7th in level 2!