The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/20/11
This is a really sweet and very well written story. I love how the story of the narrator on the train is interwoven with memories of Granny. You brought the characters to life. I want to meet Granny! And the way you worked the topic into the story was very creative.

Two tiny things: Sometimes you capitalized Granny and sometimes you didn't. Since Granny is her "name" it should be capitalized. The only time it might not need to be capitalized is when referring to her as "my granny", (like my grandma, my mom or my dad). I'm referring to this sentence: "My Granny could find God in any circumstance ... " But even then, I think the way it is intended is to be her name, like a wife referring to "my Johnny". Therefore, it is my opinion that it should be capitalized in that instance as well. I hope that makes sense!

You used the phrase "and this was SO like granny" twice. I liked it the first time. The second was a bit redundant.

Overall, this was a great story. Creative and very well written. I'm guessing it will rate high with the judges.
10/20/11
I got so caught up in the descriptive detail that I forgot I was reading a contest entry. It sounded like a story out of a personal journal more than a fictional story. I even caught myself thinking about my own late grandmother. Many of these articles make me think, few make me feel. Well done.
10/21/11
Beautifully written and a poignant entry. I thought of my own precious grandmother the whole time I was reading it through my teary eyes.

Nice job-you caught hold of my heart strings, and you managed to pull on them for the entire story, and still doing it well after the story was done. Love when our Lord is exalted and mentioned, so extra points for that alone!

God Bless you~
This is really lovely. I could empathize with the MC. Make sure you capitalize Granny when using it as a name. You did a nice job wearing the topic in.
10/22/11
I'd consider this one strong on criterion #2 (unique, fresh, memorable). None of the other stories I've read dealt with the topic in this way. Well done!

Consider working a bit more on #3 (craft). For example, from this story, I don't really feel as if I know your granny--include a few more anecdotes, to make her real and alive to your readers.

You were also strong on #4 (start). You definitely hooked this reader!
10/23/11
Oh, I loved this and was shocked at the end to see it was fiction! It seemed so real...reminded me of and brought back memories of my own late grandmother! This was so well written and I loved Granny's faith and wisdom! Just a terrific job on this! I thoroughly enjoyed the read!
So realistic, so believable. Even now that I see it was fiction, I want to comfort you with the knowledge that you'll see your Granny again!
And - you've created a character that I want to emulate.
A story of fiction, but one that touches the heart. You did a fantastic job on covering the subject. You were right on target and you held my attention from beginning to end.
11/01/11
A lovely, interesting and easy-readable story. I'm glad you pointed out it was fiction - I thought it must be true. Well done!
11/03/11
Congrats Annie! I feared you might beat me out and you did. ;)

Off to Advanced level you go!