The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/21/11
Excellent messages throughout this entire piece. I enjoyed it, it was truth-and Jeus is truth.

I especially loved this powerful comment:

"Spiritually many have turned to the search engines to seek answers that only God can give them through His word." Amen!

I loved this-thank you so much. God Bless you~
10/22/11
Your strongest criterion was #4 (strong start)--I was very interested in your Oz references, and it pulled me into your piece, wondering what your point would be.

The weakest is probably #5 (conclusion). I feel that you went one sentence too long--the stronger conclusion would have been with taking comfort from your Bible, not with the candlelight reference.

This was very firmly on topic (#1)--good job!
This was an interesting read and a creative take on the topic Below is the ratings criteria with my opinion on a 0-5 scale.

Topic 4.5 This was spot on topic.

Creativity 3.8 I really like the Wizard of Oz take. I thought it was quite fresh.

Comphresion: 3.0 You had a clear message that many can relate to.

Craft 2.9 You had a few errors, thing instead of think. You were missing some commas, as well as switching tenses. There were also a few sentences that I had to reread a few times to understand it.

Start 3.9 I thought it was agreat start andyou piqued my curiosity.

End 3.3 The ending was nice and satisfying.

Flow 3.0 You did a nice job taking me throughout thestory and keeping my interest.

Publishable: 3.0 I think this could be the start. of agreat devotion.
10/23/11
I loved the beginning of this with the pondering the Wizard of Oz! Then you continue on with many truths! I giggled at people Googling their medical conditions, but it is so true, I do it! LOL I also agree with reading the bible online, I canít do it either, there is just something about having my bible in my hands! You wrapped a very interesting message around the topic and I enjoyed the read! Well done!
Thank you for a very enjoyable story. It grabbed my attention from beginning to end.