Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Search Engine (10/06/11)

TITLE: God's Big Search Engine
By Kathy Stevens


“Mom, he is so cute! He makes my heart melt every time he looks at me.”

“Susan, who are you talking about?”

“Remember the guy that I pointed out to you at the mall? I saw him again today. He’s working at that new shop that opened. I’m not even sure what they sell, but I’m going to become a customer.”

“Well, you’d better start saving up – it may cost you.”

“Who cares? I’m in love. He’s so good looking; my knees go weak just watching him walk by.”

“I wonder if there’s a vaccination for this kind of love-sickness.”

“I hope not – I’m enjoying it too much.”

“Well, then, hadn’t you better think deeper about other things concerning him?”

“Yeah . . . .”

Seeing the look on Susan’s face, Mother decides she had better clarify herself.

“No, I mean whether he’s worth your time and your heart.”

“What do you mean? No one that cute could be anything but perfect.”

“Trust me – there’s much more to know about someone you would trust your heart to.”

“I suppose so . . . what kind of things should I look for?”

“Well, there is a list of things, but you do know that we all put our best foot forward at the beginning of a relationship. The best thing you can do is to take your emotions out of the equation and ask God about him.”

“Well . . . it’ll be hard, but okay, how do I pray?”

“I like to use God’s big search engine.”

“What are you talking about – God’s search engine?”

“Do you remember reading 2 Chronicles 16:9 where it says, ‘For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.’ See? He’s checking out hearts.

“Also, Psalm 44:21 says ‘Would not God search this out? He knows the secrets of the heart.”

“Yeah . . . but what does that have to do with this cute guy?”

“God searches the heart. He knows us clear down to our toes. He knows everything about us. He knows this boy’s heart. That’s what should interest you. A cute boy can turn ugly in a hurry if his heart isn’t right.”

“Oh . . . I didn’t think of that.”

“So many times we choose based on how cute or cool or hunky they are. These are all outward things, but God sees the heart. That’s a part of a person that you certainly should know about if you’re considering living with him for your whole life.”

“Live with him my whole life? That sounds like a really long time.”

“It is, sweetie, and it can be a wonderful thing, a gift from God, if we know how to choose. Of course, we all fall from time to time, but if we know how to be gracious and forgive – that’s a characteristic that’s very important. Wouldn’t you like to know that about a person?”

“Gosh, it sure would come in handy if I was in a bad mood.”

“Some of my friends have married men whose thoughts are only about themselves. They are their own priority. They are selfish, and it hurts the whole family. You want a giving man who adds to your Love Bank – one that you can spoil, and he can spoil you.”

“Is that why you and dad act all lovey dovey all the time?”

“Yes, that’s my secret. I asked God to use His big search engine and look in every nook and cranny of your dad’s heart – before I married him. A good marriage can be for a long time, and you can enjoy every minute of it.”

“Wow. Who would have thought that a cute guy could be so complicated?”

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 439 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Gwen Plauche10/20/11
Great conversational writing. Now if only we had the listening ears of our teenagers for these conversations! Keep up the great work!
C D Swanson 10/21/11
The interaction with mom and the daughter were touching and realistic. I enjoyed this story, thank you. God Bless~
Lillian Rhoades 10/21/11
I would like to use the guidelines suggested to comment on your story. (1) Your theme - God as a Search Engine is without question, and certainly fits the topic, but does not stand out from others who have chosen a similar approach. (2) Your dialogue moved along, but at times seemed predictable. There was little descriptive'showing.' In one instance when you wrote "Seeing the look on Susan's face...," you could have given the reader a lot more descriptive info about what sort of 'look' you had in mind, rather than leaving it up to the reader to decide. (3) The story comes to a satisfactory conclusion, based on the lesson Mother (somewhat awkward use of the word)wanted her teen-ager to learn. (4) To more fully engage the reader, and to enhance its publishable prospects, you might want to add more action along with the dialogue...For example: "Mom stopped folding the laundry, and turned towards Susan with a quizzical look on her face. "Who are you talking about?"

Jan Ackerson 10/22/11
Your strength in this entry is criterion #2 (unique, fresh, memorable). I haven't read any others that involved this particular situation.

I'd suggest that you work to improve on #3 (craft). In particular, the dialog seemed stilted; I can't imagine this actual conversation happening in this way. It's just not how real people talk.

#1 was also strong--this was definitiely on topic in a week when the topic was quite challenging.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/22/11
I liked where you were going with this and you had a good message. Below is my opinion of the rating criteria based on a 0-5 scale.

Topic: 2.5 I struggle with this because I think you took a creative approach but it did say on the amessage boards it should be about a computer. Also others who didn't talk about a computer used God or the Bible as the search engine.

Craft 2.9 The dialog didn't feel relaxed or natural. I almost felt like I was Watching a 50s TV show. I wish youhad painted me more of a picture, Shown me the expressions on the characters face or what they were doing.

Creativity 3.8 I really liked the dating angle and the advice Mother gave. I thought it was an unique and fresh way to present the Topic.

Comphresion 3.9 You had a clear, concise message that many teens need to hear (and parents)

Start: 3.3 You started out with an interesting topic and I wanted to know more. A suggestion might be to develop the characters more.

End 3.3 The mom was a little too preachy in the end (but that's what Moms tend to do) Idid enjoy the last line. It made me smile.

Publishable: 3-0 With a little polishing and more character development this would be great for a teen magazine.
Linda Goergen10/23/11
This should be passed out to all teenage girls! LOL I thought this was a tender and believable conversation between mother and daughter and I enjoyed the read. Blessings.
Mildred Sheldon10/31/11
A very enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing. A must read for all teenagers.