The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/20/11
This was very interesting, in fact I read it twice. I personally think another question you could have asked at the end would be "do you allow your work to get ahead of Jesus?". Keep up the great writing!
Oh I completely enjoyed your piece. Wow! I am amazed at how well this flowed, kept my interest high and also convicted me. Phew!
Isn't it something how HE came into your work world to seek you out bc you weren't seeking Him enough. He wanted more of you and went after you. O the love of our wonderful God. You have inspired and touched my heart.
On topic, good start and end and very satisfying to read.
10/21/11
Beautiful job - and right on topic. I loved this inventive and touching piece. Jesus is amazing, and I find when an entry centers around Him and His glory, that the entry is usually phenomenal. And this story is outstanding.

I loved the message and the meaning and Jesus wanting us to put Him first in everything. Amen to that.

Great job- keep writing. God Bless you~
10/22/11
This is very strong on criteria #1 and 2: on topic and unique. Loved your creativity, and the fact that it didn't have the old "it was only a dream" twist.

A weakness would be #3 (craft). You might want to work on things like word choice and sentence structure, to make to actual reading experience for you reader more compelling.

I'd also commend you on #7 (flow). This drew me in, and it was a pleasant read.
This was a great read and drew me in Below is my ratings on a 0-5 scale_

Topic 4.5 You certainly covered a difficult topic in a creative way.

Creativity 4.5 Again you hit it out of the park. This was fresh and you didn't fall into the angel or dream trap.

Communication: 3.9 You had a good message and I easily understood what you were getting at.

Craft 3.6 This was well-written with few mistakes. I felt like you were talking directly to me.

Start 3.3 You did a nice job setting up your points and following through.

End 3.0 Ithink you went one sentence too far. Don't out and out ask the reader the question but let your writing stand on it's own. If you did your job, the reader will questions herself without your out and out asking.

Flow 3.5 You did a nice job transition through the message.

Publishable 3.3 This is a clear message with abroad intended audience.
10/23/11
Wow this was amazing in its visual impact and what a message put out there to ponder, as we all seem to spend so much time at our computers! Well written and powerful story that you wove around the topic, I thoroughly enjoyed the read! Great job!
This is in my opinion a winner. You did an outstanding job on covering the subject. I enjoyed this thoroughly.