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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Search Engine (10/06/11)

TITLE: What Are You Searching For?


I went to my computer and turned it on. I noticed these words in the search engine, Search for Me. I did not enter those words and I wondered if possibly I was having some kind of breakdown. I was startled to say the least, but my curiosity got the better of me so I hit the ‘go’ button and was taken to a list of topics that included such things as I am the Way, I clicked on it and there stood a picture of Jesus holding His hands out to me in a gesture of love.

He looked like a real flesh and blood person and for a moment I had forgotten it was a computer image and reached out to touch it.

Then I went back to the list of topics and clicked on I am the Truth, there stood an image of Jesus holding a dove that I took to represent the Holy Spirit. His smile was disarming and the feathers on the bird seemed so alive I thought it would fly out of the computer onto my shoulders.

I sat staring at this image for a minute, wondering what it meant. What was happening to me and why it was happening to me, maybe it was the rich barbeque sauce I had for dinner the night before or the fact that I hadn’t gotten much rest in the last 24 hours. Somehow none of these reasons seemed to ring true for me. I was completely awake, not dreaming, not in bed – as a matter of fact, I had just finished lunch when I turned on the computer.

No explanation seemed acceptable. Then I decided to investigate further by clicking on the 3rd topic in the listing, I am the Life. This led to an experience that cannot be adequately explained by mere words, one must have been there to experience it to know how I felt. On the clicking of this topic I was brought into a bright light that emanated from the screen. It projected rays of golden amber and crimson red that covered my body and created a surge of energy throughout my body.

I was shaken to the core of my being. Was this the trick of some search engine guru? Then I felt compelled to ask what its purpose was and why this was happening to me. His face turned radiant like the sun and his smile filled the entire screen with warmth that was comforting and sincere. He looked at me with pleading eyes and said I had to get your attention somehow. You busy yourself with your work which you believe you are doing for me never letting me into it. I do believe you are sincere, but remember the one who gave you the work in the first place – remember me. I promise it will go easier for you if you do.

Tears formed in my eyes as I said, Jesus I am sorry, I will remember to ask you into my work the next time. Then a peace that surpasses all understanding spread over me and I was happier than I had ever been.

Now I want to ask you, does your computer come first before Jesus?

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This article has been read 308 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Gwen Plauche10/20/11
This was very interesting, in fact I read it twice. I personally think another question you could have asked at the end would be "do you allow your work to get ahead of Jesus?". Keep up the great writing!
Catherine Maher10/21/11
Oh I completely enjoyed your piece. Wow! I am amazed at how well this flowed, kept my interest high and also convicted me. Phew!
Isn't it something how HE came into your work world to seek you out bc you weren't seeking Him enough. He wanted more of you and went after you. O the love of our wonderful God. You have inspired and touched my heart.
On topic, good start and end and very satisfying to read.
C D Swanson 10/21/11
Beautiful job - and right on topic. I loved this inventive and touching piece. Jesus is amazing, and I find when an entry centers around Him and His glory, that the entry is usually phenomenal. And this story is outstanding.

I loved the message and the meaning and Jesus wanting us to put Him first in everything. Amen to that.

Great job- keep writing. God Bless you~
Jan Ackerson 10/22/11
This is very strong on criteria #1 and 2: on topic and unique. Loved your creativity, and the fact that it didn't have the old "it was only a dream" twist.

A weakness would be #3 (craft). You might want to work on things like word choice and sentence structure, to make to actual reading experience for you reader more compelling.

I'd also commend you on #7 (flow). This drew me in, and it was a pleasant read.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/22/11
This was a great read and drew me in Below is my ratings on a 0-5 scale_

Topic 4.5 You certainly covered a difficult topic in a creative way.

Creativity 4.5 Again you hit it out of the park. This was fresh and you didn't fall into the angel or dream trap.

Communication: 3.9 You had a good message and I easily understood what you were getting at.

Craft 3.6 This was well-written with few mistakes. I felt like you were talking directly to me.

Start 3.3 You did a nice job setting up your points and following through.

End 3.0 Ithink you went one sentence too far. Don't out and out ask the reader the question but let your writing stand on it's own. If you did your job, the reader will questions herself without your out and out asking.

Flow 3.5 You did a nice job transition through the message.

Publishable 3.3 This is a clear message with abroad intended audience.
Linda Goergen10/23/11
Wow this was amazing in its visual impact and what a message put out there to ponder, as we all seem to spend so much time at our computers! Well written and powerful story that you wove around the topic, I thoroughly enjoyed the read! Great job!
Mildred Sheldon10/31/11
This is in my opinion a winner. You did an outstanding job on covering the subject. I enjoyed this thoroughly.