The Official Writing Challenge
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I'm glad your characters found each other. Your story was very believable. Nicely written.
09/25/11
I think I really like Aunt Mary. I'm so glad Sarah went to live with her. Well done.
09/25/11
It did seem a bit strange to me, that at sixteen the MC would not have heard about or known her aunt, but then I come from a close family so it is hard to imagine. But, I liked the story and the truth is shows that not everyone who goes to church or calls themselves Christian, has a true relationship with our Lord. Enjoyed the read. Blessings!
09/26/11
Nice story.

I believe this story would have more interest, however, if there were more showing. Show the reader how the MC feels completely out of place, sad and lonely by her actions. You might even begin the story that way, since being thrown into the action is always a great way to begin.

Here's an example:

"I sat, huddled in the corner of my aunt's house, surrounded by people, yet completely alone. Clinging to my dog, Muffin, my stomach ached for my parents, though I did my best to hold back tears."

Just some thoughts.

It was nice to know the MC would be able to move in with a family member she had just met, but connected with.
This is a nice story. I liked your characters. You did a nice job with the dialog although at times it felt a bit formal. Listen to how people speak and try to imitate the nuances. Near the beginning, you used the wrong word. You wrote there and should have written their.
I liked the message.It's true that some churches play it safe. We all need an Aunt Mary in our lives.