The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/16/11
Masterful! Excellent job or goodness versus evil. And goodness will always win. With God in our corner, who can be against us?

Fantastic ending...Witty and full of truths.
God Bless~

This was a suspenseful story and I enjoyed it. My heart thudded a bit as I read it. I liked all of your characters too.

I can see you are trying to do more showing then telling. You are doing a good job but just by leaving out a few words will tighten your sentences up. For example in this sentence: She says this with a hard glint in her leafy green eyes. It would be a stronger sentence by replacing the words: "She says this with" with "I notice" or "I shiver at the".

You did a great job with a fresh take on the topic. Your dialog is inspiring and you captured the essence of watching out for friends.
09/20/11
I am so glad this ended as it did, I feared the witches were going to try and do something terrible to the MC!! I think it would be wisdom more than fear that would keep most Christians from a party like this, but sometimes God does indeed lead His children into surprising place to witness for him! This was an absorbing, suspenseful read that I thoroughly enjoyed!
09/22/11
Congratulations. God bless~
09/22/11
Congratulations on a well deserved HC win!