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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Comedy of Errors (not about the play) (08/18/11)

TITLE: It's not funny!
By diana kay


The day started so well, crowds of people shouting encouragement and waving their hands, we were on a roll and the master was getting recognition at last.
But from then on things started to go wrong. I tried my best, I really did, booked the room, booked the table, ordered the food and plenty of wine. I’d thought of everything, Well almost everything!
How was I to know that room service was wasn’t included in the package?

We trudged wearily up the stairs, all dusty and smelly from the long walk and the room looked lovely, the table beautifully laid. Everyone crashed on the cushions waiting expectantly,
but instead of the guy with the cool water and the fluffy towel there was just an uncomfortable silence.

“What time did you book the foot spa for?” asked John.

Everyone was looking at me.
My mouth dropped open! Oh the embarrassment! There was no one to do the feet! I was trying to think of a way to retrieve the situation when Peter piped up all cocky like, crowing loudly with that annoying cackle of his.

“ Hah Hah! Judas! You have really put your smelly foot in it this time, forgot the bath water have you? wat…er joke.”

The others rolled around laughing and snorting. I was mad with them. They have no appreciation of all the hard work I do, I was about to smash in Peter’s smarmy little face when I saw Jesus looking at me.

Jesus was not laughing like the rest, just a gentle smile then he took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves and knelt in front of me, taking my grubby feet in his strong hands. I was embarrassed but grateful too. He was taking the role of the servant and not making a big deal about it.

The room fell silent as he cleaned the dust and the dirt off my feet, then drying them so gently he moved on to the next person. You could have heard a pin drop as he slowly made his way round the room on his knees.

Of course Peter couldn’t keep quiet for long, he blurted out something stupid, refusing to have his feet done, but naturally he got the same treatment as everyone else.

Then Jesus took his place back at the table just as though nothing had happened and said

“Let’s begin the Passover feast”

Then he started one of his teaching sessions. Everyone nodded but I could see that none of them had a clue what he was on about.

So here we are sitting round the table enjoying the Passover feast. It’s a bit of a joke really, a bunch of fishermen and a former tax collector, not to mention all the other misfits. It never ceases to amaze me who Jesus has chosen to be his special friends. Of course Jesus made a sensible decision choosing me, he really trusts me, but the others! You just have to see the funny side of it. How is he going to save the world with this lot!

Anyway I’ve a plan to help Jesus, which will bring us a bit more money too. It’s hush hush at the moment, but believe me, a lot more people will be hearing about Jesus soon enough.

All I can tell you is Jesus is going to be really grateful to me because I am going bring Jesus the media attention he deserves.
I‘ve got important contacts in the Temple and I’m meeting them as soon as the meal is over.

What’s this? Jesus is passing me a piece of bread dipped in sauce. Gosh I am his favoured one this evening.

He’s got tears in his eyes and he seems to be looking right into my soul. I feel confused, scared and angry.
My heart’s pounding, I feel sick, the walls of the room are spinning, jeering faces swim past, like some kind of sick joke! I feel dreadful like a big black cloud has descended and I am shivering.

It’s not funny! I must to escape right now, I am not going to be made a fool of again, I will show them I’m no idiot. I push back my chair and leave them without a backward glance.

From John 13 v 1-30.

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Member Comments
Member Date
marcella franseen08/25/11
Very interesting take on what was going through Judas' mind when he brought the guards to Jesus. A couple simple grammar things: "I must escape right now," instead of, "I must to escape right now." Other than that, it is a great story.
C D Swanson 08/25/11
Interesting theory of Judas's thoughts and actions. When he feels like a black cloud is upon him, that was the evil setting into him, good projection of what was physically happening to him. Nicely written, God Bless you~
Colin Swann08/26/11
An intesting take on the topic. I suppose the Judas story would have had side to it that we never read of - you've showed us one with a comical aspect to it. Thanks!
Brenda Rice 08/26/11
An interesting point of view on a scene not ususally considered funny. I enjoyed your creative take on it. Thanks for sharing with us.
Mildred Sheldon08/26/11
A very interesting take on the challenge. I loved how you portrayed Judas and when sin entered in. You personalized it from his point of view. Good job and well written.
Sarah Elisabeth 08/26/11
Interesting take...I remember seeing a movie that showed something like this as possibly being Judas reason for betraying Jesus.

A little writing tip: avoid exclamation points outside of dialogue. Have confidence that your sentence is strong without one.

Keep writing!