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Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me three times over…
The lies you told kept me hidden from a life of love. Wayward ways, angry eyes, uncommitted words, held me down, fixed my gaze upon my empty shell. With you I would create a nest for the child our marriage gave us, yet you played the victim of fate, with eyes closed in your hatred.
Your time spent on selfish desire to quench fleshly binding needs, knowing that the actions you chose deprived a family of their father, and partner…
A fourth birthday phone call, promises of gifts, eyes alight with wonder, then a tiny tear as six months roll by. A Christmas wish to say, her presents are coming with Santa – January, February, March and then April – sorry, I needed to replace my cell phone, stolen in a fight.
One pair of shoes and a short little dress, you call demanding to speak with her on your fancy new phone, I hear your voice come down the line as you tell her that you love her, her eyes are looking into mine, your face held in her hand. My heart in my mouth, I take the phone and say – fool me once, fool me twice, I will not let you fool her too.
Sixth birthday, eight birthday…not a penny in her hand, just a call to say, you only think of her this day. I tell her that you called, to wish her for the year; she doesn’t change her posture, as she carries on with play.
A daddy takes the time, to sacrifice all else, to give what must be given, to show that she is loved. Her face lights up when daddy’s home with holes under his shoes, she sits upon his lap, knowing that he brings, the pie that was his lunch.
A phone call comes to say, that you want to come and see her, so I send to you her happy face stuck on pink with glitter stars – another year and then another, a birthday card, a trinket – she laughs and scrunches up her face, and skips along her way.
I tell her, if she ever wants to meet you she must tell me…so she can learn about you… she strokes my hair, smiles and places ‘Barbie’ on my head.
A friend request pops up one night on Facebook, as she chats, there your face stuck like glue,sees us sat together.
Casually she turns to me, looks right through my soul, daring to comprehend questions in my eyes…
‘Mom, I always ignore requests from people I don’t know…’
Fool me once, fool me twice, you cannot fool her too.
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