The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/28/11
This is very powerful. I can't imagine the how it would feel being in that situation, but you've certainly captured the emotion of the mum and daughter, and the indifference of the ex. Great ending, too. Well done.
07/28/11
I've worked with alot of hurting kids. You painted a true to life picture of a hard reality in far too many young lives. Good job!
Wow what a powerful story. It made my heart hurt. I know there may have been some glitches with the computer and punctuation, that's happened to the best of us:) Sometimes you can fix it if you hit preview before submit.

But you did a great job. The only suggestion I have would have been maybe to put it in a letter format. It would give it a punch. Then maybe put the FB part in italics Just a thought, I'm not saying it would be better just different.

Congratulations for ranking 6th in level two!