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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Crime and Punishment (not about the book) (07/21/11)

TITLE: Nothing wrong with that!
By diana kay
07/27/11


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In the final few weeks before deployment the new recruitsí bravado hides the nagging fear of the unknown. Soon enough reality will fill the blank sheet of inexperience. After a few campaigns their focus will shift from the challenge ahead to what is left behind. My mind is full of thoughts of my beautiful wife, her gentle touch, the smell of her perfume, and the sight of her glistening wet as she steps from the shower distracting me from the dusty, dry uncomfortable task ahead. I am a loyal soldier but I am a faithful lover as well. Is this a conundrum? Maybe the combination is a paradox but I am content. God is good.
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In springtime I would normally be on campaign but modern communication means I can keep abreast of things from the comfort of my palace. Why experience unnecessary discomfort?
Iíll let you in on a secret. This method has definite advantages. Iíve got into the habit of going for a breath of fresh air at the time my neighbour takes her bath. Iím just looking mind you; no touching! Sheís a feast for the eyes and thereís no crime in looking, nothing wrong with that!
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People say itís harder for the wives left behind and even after all this time my heart still aches when heís on manoeuvres. Each day I worry there will be a message saying he has been wounded, or worse still, killed. I try to distract myself by taking long lazy baths, letting the water run over my skin to chase anxiety away. I have noticed the peeping tom but itís no problem, in fact he might be useful in keeping my darling safe, so I donít cover up, in fact sometimes I let him see a little more. Iím flattered he finds me attractive; he has so many to choose from. A girl needs admirers nothing wrong with that!
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Events have taken an unexpected turn, sheís pregnant! I thought sheíd be more careful. Silly woman, what was she thinking of? Still IĎve sent an order for her husband to come off the front line and report to me. Itís not too late to sort this out. No one will ever know the childís not his. Everythingís planned, after heís seen me, itís off home for a few days to do his duty. Heís in the anteroom now. Iíve some gifts for him that should ensure heís in the mood, if you get my meaning. Nothing wrong with that!
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I feel dreadful; I didnít mean this to happen. I was only trying to get a bit of leeway for my husband, but everythingís gone wrong. The guilt of what IĎve done sickens me. I donít want this baby. I donít want to live a lie for the rest of my life. David plans a cover up, but the whole thing revolts me. I donít think I could sleep with my husband without him suspecting something, but it seems heís not coming anyway. What a mess!
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Everythingís gone wrong! Stupid man, he just wouldnít cooperate. I tried everything. Well itís his own fault. Iíve no choice now. If only heíd been sensible and gone to her like I suggested. Well He will pay for it. I hate doing this but heís been stubborn and foolish, I Ďm going to have to punish him for his stupidity. Iím writing out the order now.
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The worst has happened; I got the news this morning, Ďkilled in the line of actioní. Itís my fault, God is punishing me. I feel nothing. I want to die. I donít even feel hopeful about the child; nothing can take the sense of guilt away.
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Well the deed is done, sheís distraught but doesnít suspect a thing. Once the mourning period is over I will bring her to my house and make everything legitimate. I will do the right thing by her and the child. Everything is sorted, no-one need ever know. Iím sovereign after all, I make the rules. Sheíll come round and when the baby comes everything will be fine. People will applaud my generosity to the widow of a favoured soldier. Nothing wrong with that!
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Living in the palace has not brought happiness; I would give up these riches in a heartbeat. People say I should be grateful but they donít know the truth. I have lost everything, my husband and my child are dead. Selah.


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This article has been read 183 times
Member Comments
Member Date
marcella franseen 07/28/11
A modern telling of a biblical story. It took me a second to get into the rhythm, but once I did, I really enjoyed it. Great job!
Rachel Stone07/28/11
Your story is like a slide-show retelling of a very old story with a modern ring of truth. Nice job!
CD (Camille) Swanson 07/29/11
Interesting account of David's "sin." Good job of recreating it with this story. I loved it. God Bless you~
Virgil Youngblood 07/29/11
An interesting viewpoint for a familiar story. Well done.
Allison Egley 07/29/11
Great entry. I liked the different POVs

The first paragraph seems to be a different POV from all the others, and it threw me for a bit.

Great job with this one. Biblical fiction is one of my favorite genres!