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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Checkout (06/09/11)

TITLE: Escape
By Kathy Stevens


“Maako, check it out – there’s Fred again. I’ve been watchin’ him all day and I think he might be ripe for the pickin’.”

“Yeah, we’ve been working on him for a long time. He looks like he can’t take any more bad news. Why don’t we arrange something really bad in his life? I think it just might push him over the edge.”

“I think you might be right. How about pushing his girlfriend to break up with him? He feels that she is all he has left. We’ll take her away from him – that’ll do it.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it. Ha, ha, hee, hee.” The sound of evil, cackling laughter fills the atmosphere.

“Arrange it this afternoon and tonight we’ll come back when he is at his lowest.”

“Yeah, I like the night – it’s so . . . so dark – just like us.”


Late that night, the two devils are back to visit Fred.

“Now approach him quietly at first, he must think he is having his own thoughts.”


“You look terrible. You feel terrible too, don’t you? Look in the mirror – no wonder Emily broke up with you. You’re no good for her -- you’re no good for anybody. You lost your job, you lost your girl and nobody cares about you.”

Looking into the mirror, Fred is tempted to listen to the voice coming from his left. Then another voice comes from the right.

“Fred, I love you.”

“How can anybody love me?” He contradicts the voice. “Emily doesn’t even love me – look she left me.”

“It does not matter if the whole world turns against you and leaves you. I love you.”

The left speaks again.

“You don’t deserve to be loved. What have you ever done to be loved? Your boss hated you. That’s why he fired you.”

Silence for a moment.

“Fred, look at the pills by your bed. If you took a few too many, it would all be over and you wouldn’t hurt anymore. Nobody would miss you – why don’t you just checkout -- checkout of this life and this existence. It would just be the end of you and the pain would stop. You want it to stop, don’t you Fred? Just take the pills! Make it stop! Make it stop!”

The right speaks again.

“I love you, Fred.” The room fills with a sweet fragrance and an overpowering sensation of love permeates the air. “Fred, I died a horrible death just for you. That’s how much I love you – and I would do it all over again – just for you. I have plans for you that are much needed in the earth and I am counting on you. The enemy seeks to kill you because of that assignment. Come to Me, Fred – I will show you the way.”

Fred looks up with the first glimpse of hope he has seen in a long time.

“I . . . I wonder. I wonder if . . . . “

The left comes back with a vengeance.

“Fred! No! Nobody loves you! Nobody wants you! Just take the pills! Just take the pills!”

The sweet fragrance still lingers in the air with the hope of love. Fred thinks, “Maybe . . . maybe I am loved. Maybe I do have a purpose. Maybe love will find a way and I will not have to checkout of this life. I have a strong feeling that I was created for something – something great. Why should I miss my opportunity?”

“Maako, do something! We’re losin’ him.”

“It’s that love that foils us every time. Once love gets them, we no longer have any power. Somebody probably is praying for him. Curses!

“Well, we’ll go away and maybe try another time to find a weak spot in him. In the mean time, maybe we can find someone else who has been wounded by the world. If they don’t know love, it may give us an open door to influence them. Master Satan wants them.”

“Yeah, I want ‘em too – cackle, cackle.” The demon’s eyes flash with fire and an evil look of desire permeates the atmosphere. He dances with the thought of torturing those whom God loves.

“Not this time, but maybe next time.”

“Yeah, maybe next time.”

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Member Comments
Member Date
Nancy Bucca06/17/11
Great job portraying the unseen spiritual battle that goes on inside a person's heart. Excellent ending to a powerful piece.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 06/23/11
I almost felt like you've been peeking inmy windows at some of my darkest time It's nice to know Jesus and his angels are watching over me on those bad days. Nice job.