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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Outlook (06/02/11)

TITLE: What is Your Outlook?



When I was of dating age my mother always said I should be ‘out looking’ for a husband. I grew up in the disco era. You know, the loud music, blinking disco balls, people jammed into a tight space trying to dance – oh and of course – the drugs, sex and alcohol. But to my mother this was just popularity, not to do the bad stuff, but to be in the popular places like my cousins were.

There was lots of competition to be popular back then – at least in my family. I did go out to the popular places, but my outlook was anything but festive and hopeful. The only guys I ever met were those who wanted to do something bad, never just knowing me for me.

Mom was very naďve about these things and thought I was just being difficult and telling tall tales. She hounded me constantly about it, reminding me my cousins were all going out and getting engaged, so obviously I had the problem.
As time went on my outlook about myself deteriorated even more because I never met anyone. I used to yell at God telling him that I shouldn’t have been put in a family where only marriage mattered if he wasn’t going to lift a finger to help me find a husband.

Needless to say, I still carry those wounds with me today. I was labeled a loser, not quite right and it hurt and destroyed my sense of self.

One thing has changed; I know the Lord and I have learned that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that no husband will change that fact!
I still would like to have a husband even though I am middle aged, maybe God will send someone, but at least I don’t have to compete for love and worthiness – I all ready am worthy because God said so.

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This article has been read 304 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Helen Curtis06/10/11
I don't know if this is your story or not, but it certainly is mine! I was labelled all sorts of things because I was in my late 20s and not even close to being married! The whole time, though, I knew my standards and kept them; and God did bring me the most amazing man after many tears and tantrums. It is true that God is our fulfillment; my prayer is that he will meet all your needs, physically, emotionally. God bless.
Mildred Sheldon06/10/11
WHOA! I love your title. It fit your story like a glove. I think your story will reach out and hit a lot of people right where it hurts. How many had that same outlook.
diana kay06/11/11
great story thanks for sharing it factual or fictional it is relevant to many
Janice Fitzpatrick06/12/11
I'm so lgad that you wrote this and may it speak volumes to women and men as well. It isn't another human being who is going to make us whole or fulfill us totally, if one person could do that there wouldn't be the need of our risen Savior. Only Jesus, the true husband, of all, can fill the empty places and make that what is empty, whole again. Keep seeing the Lord and staying close to Him hon. All we can do is read, take classes, etc that will help us heal, from our pasts, learn all we are in the Lord, and prepare ourselves. When the times comes for those doors to be open you may find yourself with the one worth waiting for. God bless you and my prayers are with you. :))
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 06/13/11
This breaks my heart in so many ways. How sad it is when a parent can't be a soft place to land for a hurting child. I wish I could wrap my arms around the MC and love unconditionally. Well done you really pulled me in and I felt empathy for people everywhere who fear they will never measure up to impossible standards.
diana kay06/16/11
well done just shows the quality of your short piece speaks volumes :-)
HC is a good result as there was lots of great writing here