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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Outgoing (05/05/11)

TITLE: Journeying
By diana kay
05/11/11


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That first journey from warmth and comforting darkness
The soothing security
Of a mothers womb
Into the harsh reality of the waiting world.
The incoming was a private affair
Two people joining together
To make new life,
My life.
The outgoing was by contrast
Accompanied by a full orchestra
A cacophony of
Machines and bright lights
Push, push,
Keep going, keep going.
Birth is a messy affair
No dignity to spare
Pulling, pushing
Tugging, squeezing
That journeyís
There.

Itís a boy
A bouncing baby boy!
Towelled, tousled, tidied
Powdered, Clothed and fed
Patted on the head.
This new place is not so bad
I find a new space to nestle
In the crook of my mothers arm
And there I stay
Close, comforted, content.

The second journey from the warmth and comfort
of my mother's close embrace
into the harsh reality of a learning place
my first day at school
is an outgoing to a brave new world makes
Teachers and desks and lunchtime breaks
Be a big boy ,do not cry
But I see a tear in my motherís eye.
My new life now, Iím learning how
Push, push, shove,shove
Stretch my mind, open my eyes
To new possibilities
No going back
Only forwards.

The third journey is a long walk
Starting with a bended knee
And promises twixt you and me
With this ring I thee honour
With my body I thee worship
Two people joining together in matrimony
Leaving my mother and my father
to make a new family
Our life
This outgoing is a happy one
Surrounded by family and friends
bright lights and flowers
Hear hear
Speeches loud and clear
Clapping and laughing
Rejoicing partying
Not a care in the world
ĎCept mine.

You and I
Can journey together united
Through the harsh realities of this troubled world
Secure and comforted by each otherí love
There will be many incomings and outgoings
Bad days and better days
Gentle words and harsh ones
The woven
Threads of struggle and heartbreak
Snake through the rich tapestry
That is my life
Our life
I hope our road together is a long one
Seasons of mist and mellow fruitfulness
Gentle rains and times of refreshing
This journeying, this joining
is a good one
Not only one flesh
But hand in hand
Heart in heart
We follow the same pathway
The same highway
To the same destination
Where there is a place prepared
For us
When the time comes
But
We want to tarry here.
A little Longer

The day will sometime come
For that final outgoing
From the soothing security of this precious world
To another place
Where we can go
Because of Gods joining together
Another birth
And another death.
Revealing His heart to us
His life incoming
Made flesh and dwelt among us
This outgoing was a messy affair
Full of pain and heatbreak
And a mothers tears
As she saw her Son
Delivered up for the world
The Pushing, shoving, taunting
On that painful road
So that we might
Be free
He made that outgoing
So that ours might truly be
Safe in the place
Where
Where we can dwell forever
The final resting place
Together
Forever
There


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This article has been read 302 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 05/12/11
Beautiful! Love the imagery.
Helen Curtis05/14/11
I just love this! Each 'journey' is described beautifully, and the way you weave Jesus into the end is so powerful. A fantastic piece of writing, well done!
Cheryl von Drehle05/14/11
well done! good word choice and imagery,, I like the rhythm of it, and it moves through life's journey in a very compelling way
Catrina Bradley 05/15/11
I really like the subtle rhythm and the occasional rhyme. This poem flows very nicely, and it was a joy to read of the journey through life--from one outgoing to the next--until our final outgoing!! Great job!
Mildred Sheldon05/15/11
FANTASTIC! Truly an enjoyable read. Your poetry flowed like a river meandering where life leads from beginning to end. The imagery was perfect. This in my opinion truly is a winner. Great job and keep writing.
Lillian Rhoades 05/18/11
The occasional rhyme, the sequential flow from one journey to the next, and the myriad of word pictures creates an eloquent piece. I so enjoyed walking that journey with you, and you couldn't have had a better ending...!

A more "telling" transition for the second and third journey is my only suggestion. "The second journey..."The third journey..." stops the flow, in my opinion.

Still, a real winner!
Lillian Rhoades 05/18/11
Sorry, meant "Showing" transition rather than "telling," My bad.:-)
Cheryl von Drehle05/19/11
I loved this poem...congratulations on your well deserved win