The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 386 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/14/11
powerful writing and it held my attention. One point though you said jennie was the youngest at thirteen then you said Matthew was 10 just a little point. I would have loved to know more about why jennie was a hero??
Outbreak of unexpected violence....good one
A beautifully written story from start to finish. How sad that God's children are subject to violence and they usually are the quiet heros. Good job and keep writing.
held my attention...good momentum.
I love your message. If we keep an open mind God can turn horrible things into into something wonderful. Your characters were a delight as well.

A little red ink for you, In the beginning some time should be two words. When you described Jenny you used the word Rapport which means mutual trust I think the word you wanted was rampant.

You did a great job showing the MC's moods. I also enjoyed the vision of her showing up at school in her robe. Nice job!