The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/05/11
This is good.

Beware of misplaced modifiers. For example, "She no longer wore her emotions on her sleeve that has cost her dearly in the past." It makes it sound like her sleeve is what cost her dearly.

I liked the Miss Wright/Jean exchanges. Good job.
I enjoyed your story very much. Very well written. I love how the secretary handled the situation. Good job. Keep writing
03/07/11
Very real exchange between your characters. I could feel the tension in your MC. Thanks for sharing.
03/09/11
I really liked the interaction between the MCs.