The Official Writing Challenge
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This really touched my heart. Although your first paragraph was full of exquisite details that gave me a word picture of the setting, I almost think it might have been better to start with the character description then show the shank contrast of the scenery. Either way your writing is powerful and the message intense. Outstanding job!
Very sad. It's good to get a response out of the reader and you did that well. Nice job.
This is informative, descriptive, intersting and asks a very important question. Well done and thanks for sharing.
Well written and nicely done, interesting. Where I live, this is a very controversial issue...those here illegally. It would make an awesome story, elaborated more on the individuals and their emotions, hopes and dreams and goals. God sees the heart of everyone and wants us to do the same. Enjoyed this very much! Thanks!
This touched my heart. How many go through life as ghosts? What you've written is so true. A very powerful story. Thank you for sharing.
This is wonderfully descriptive, very sad, and sadly true. I love your last challenging paragraph. Good writing.
There is a lot of meat here for an expanded story. Your ability to set a scene is top drawer stuff. My only suggestion would be to try to narrow the story line by putting some flesh on the MC's through dialogue and showing us their struggles rather than telling. For instance this line: "Vlad was resentful, a chip on his shoulder as large as a tree, life was unfair and he felt imprisoned by his upbringing and his circumstances." Have Vlad say something so the reader can see him as this person. Really enjoyed your entry and unique take on the topic,
Hi Diana! I thought you presented a very power and moving story within the word count limits. You drew me into a sweet pastoral scene that moved into the ordinary and humdrum, then into stark reality and finally to clincher - where am I in this picture & am I willing to look with God's eyes upon life - and asking the Lord to keep our eyes open to being the Spirit's presence. Wonderfully portrayed!