The Official Writing Challenge
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This is very lyrical; it reads almost more like poetry than prose. Some lovely imagery here!

I'm a bit put off by the long sentences with multiple semicolons. Might you consider breaking them into shorter sentences?

I like that you don't tell us more about her--it allows each reader to interpret your character and her emotional changes. Nicely done.
I like this very very much - richly lyrical and very well sustained. A well crafted piece, and a gentley opened window on a troubled soul. God bless.