The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/10/05
I agree. This is very dark. Poor Sammi!
10/10/05
Good action and suspense. Makes me want to know more -- who tied up the child? Loved ones or "the others?" Great suspense!
Oh please tell me 'who dunnit!" God bless.
10/11/05
Very suspenseful; I hope you plan to expand this some day to a full-length story! Well done!

I don't think you need the row of asterisks. It's far less distracting to your reader if you just use transitional words. Something like "Sammi couldn't tell if it was hours or days later when next she opened her eyes..." Also, put spaces between lines of dialog, just as you do for your descriptive paragraphs.

Will we find out the end someday? Please?
Wow! This sure didn't turn out like I had expected...great job on the suspense! I'm with the others. I want to know who tied her up, what happened, etc.
I'm not usually a suspense reader; but you tricked me into your plot. Now all I want to know is who????????? Good job. I hope you publish this one too; but you'll have to do something special to let readers like me know this is the answer to who!
10/13/05
That pesky word limit! I too would like to know what happens next. I thought that the mum and the grandmother were growing marijuana or something!