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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: 24 Hours (01/27/11)

TITLE: Life on a platter
By Dorene Lang
02/01/11


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Twenty four hours. That’s all I was given to complete my mission. Twenty four lousy, stinkin’, quick to pass, hours. Where to begin?
He was a pastor, and easy to find. He was also a father of four children. Hard to hide when life was handing you Life on a platter. The question was, where on Earth was he at this moment in time?
I would begin my job at the church. How ironic, for my job to be at the place where his safety was almost ensured. The place where so many gathered to worship my Lord. My boss. I was almost positive that he would be there. Would he be doing his duties? Would he be praying to the empty cross again, reading from his Bible? Would he be soothing a hurt follower? None of these would make my boss happy. Empty words and empty acts.
There was a time when he almost made the eternal life that was his worthy of Heaven. At one time he almost believed what he preached. His name could have been written in the book. But he didn’t believe enough of it. I know, I know, once save always saved, but his wasn’t a true belief. A little wishy washy, that fellow.
Now it was my duty to put enough obstacles in his way to ensure that he would go to the Boss. Down on his knees for forgiveness. I could only direct him, I couldn’t make him believe. I could only encourage his footsteps to make their way toward Him. Toward the Christ, the Holy of Holies, our God with us, his God with him. I pray that I would have the mobility to maneuver this.
Twenty four hours. Twenty four lousy, stinkin’, quick to pass, hours. Where to begin?


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Member Comments
Member Date
Brenda Rice 02/03/11
I'm not sure I know who your MC is in this entry. I think of angels having different assignments. I would suggest spacing between paragraphs to make reading easier. Thanks for sharing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/04/11
Your story was interesting and suspenseful. At first I thought the MC was a demon, then I thought maybe an angel. Don't be afraid to use all 750 words to describe the MC. Paint a picture for the reader so we can visualize him. Either way, the message is a good one. Things can change in a blink of an eye, It's so important to really believe and have a relationship with God, not just go through the motions.
Mildred Sheldon02/05/11
Twenty four hours for most isn't very long, but for some twenty four hours is more than enough to save a lost soul. I wanted more of where your story was going. I enjoyed this.
diana kay02/06/11
a great idea, i would liked you to have continued on a bit more and developed it further. What you have written is clever and engaging.


   
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