The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1374 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This has a lot of potential... I enjoyed it, but there were some fragmented and repeated thoughts... with a little "touch up" I think would be absolutely wonderful. Blessings, Amy
10/11/05
There are many lovely things about this poem. I especially liked "Fear not dry flower for God holds you near."

I don't understand the phrase "For the flower in the dry land will bloom until it no longer relies upon our Lord..."

From a reader's point of view, I wonder if the very short lines of only 3-5 words might be combined to longer lines; this is tiring on the eyes. If you choose to do this, perhaps you'll also add some punctuation.

The extended metaphor is every effective, and I think this poem has great potential.
A great work. It was compelling and flowed well with rhythm. Hard to achieve in so long a work. I liked it very much.
There are lovely observations and expressions but I agree the 3/5 word lines make this hard going in places. Great potential in this though. God bless.
10/13/05
And hold the nourishment
Of God's word
Within your wilting leaves

Would the leaves be wilting if they were being noursihed by God?

I like poems like that, but it was very long!