Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Flowers (10/03/05)
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TITLE: The Dry Land Flower | Previous Challenge Entry
By
10/07/05 -
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The flower in a dry land --
Would you remain
Resilient
When all about you
Can no longer stand --
Would you find
Your sustenance
In the Lord
And hold firmly
To His hand
When all about you
Says you will not
Find what you seek --
Would your roots
Run deep
To hold onto
The source
Of all that is good
And pure --
Would you seek
The sun each morn
And throughout
The day endure --
Would you drink
In the morning dew
And hold the nourishment
Of God's word
Within your wilting leaves
And allow the manna
That you share
Your spirit to appease --
Would you
Use the strength
Given to you By God
To sustain you
Until the eve arrives --
Would you be
The flower
That in a parched dessert
Survives --
The sun in the heavens
Redeems you
With its warmth
Each day --
The morning dew
Sustains you
And fills your life
With hope
For the flower
In the dry land
Will bloom
Until it no longer
Relies upon our Lord
For its beauty
Is the expression
Of God's holy word --
The lack
Of what appears
To be any effort
By man
To give aid
Or share relief
Seems to be beyond
Your reach --
But never forget
That the true source
Of your survival
Lies not with man
But with God above
Who is the creator
And the sustainer
Of all that you
Will ever be
And as you share
Your beauty
Within this parched
And dreary land
Keep in mind
That God sustained
You for one purpose
And that
Is for the salvation
Of man...
It is your duty
To give thanks
For the manna
And sun of day --
For the eve
That comes
And arrives
Without man's say --
For the roots
That hold you
To the source
Of hope --
For the soil
In which to linger
Until raindrops
Arrive from heaven's
Blue --
But most of all
The flower
In the dry land
Must live in faith
And trust in the creator
Of every single thing
For it is by His grace
That the dry flower
Lives until the arrival
Of spring...
Fear not dry flower
For God holds
You near
And has a plan
For you
In the coming year...
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I don't understand the phrase "For the flower in the dry land will bloom until it no longer relies upon our Lord..."
From a reader's point of view, I wonder if the very short lines of only 3-5 words might be combined to longer lines; this is tiring on the eyes. If you choose to do this, perhaps you'll also add some punctuation.
The extended metaphor is every effective, and I think this poem has great potential.
Of God's word
Within your wilting leaves
Would the leaves be wilting if they were being noursihed by God?
I like poems like that, but it was very long!