The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 312 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/22/11
gosh you packed a whole lot into the word count :-) and went through all the seasons with some lovely descriptive and evocative words.
a few suggestions from me.. in the first paragraph in your description of winter you use a lot of and between three adjectives rather than a comma e.g cold and bleak and icy rather than cold,bleak and icy. although this can be used in emphasis later on in the piece you revert to the latter.
I just wonder if in trying to fit such alot into your peice you have given us a little TOO much to digest. only my view and it is a great piece.
01/22/11
You do pack lots in this entry! One thing that will help is to break up the paragraphs with a space. It will make it easier to read. You have so much to share - you probably could have taken one season and expounded on it. Nice writing.
You put a lot of thought and feeling into this piece. I enjoyed your perspective.
Congratulations for ranking 8th among all level 2 entries. (The highest rankings are usually posted on the message boards on Thurs on Friday evening.)

http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=32324&sid=f0f588fc0b244c89dae1e7beb5a4f990