The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/11/05
I'm pretty sure that Christian is your son, and your parental feelings for him are apparent. This sweet poem is very short--too short for the challenge, in fact--and if you expanded it some, it would be clearer that you are talking about your child. Also, it's not clear what you mean by "a new breed." That's something you might want to re-work or clarify.
10/13/05
I think you should have not worried about rhyming some of the lines - the first verse seed and weed for instance. The use of "weed" gives the impression of something undesirable and unwanted.