The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 349 times
Member Comments
great story! It is interesting how many people have chosen to use this topic to write about forgiveness. In my opinion you do a great job in writing this, engaging,gripping descriptive. :-)
I did have momentary confusion in not realising that Rachel's nickname was Ray. I thought ray was the fathers name..... well at least I think that it was Ray/Rachel.
I really enjoyed this.... the judges are going to have a tough time this week!
Your story is compelling and very touching. I think you did a great job of writing here. Good luck.
Lovely illustration of forgiveness. I would love to have more background on the father/daughter falling out, but it's hard to get all of that with a word count limit. Beautifully done!
What a beautiful story on forgiveness. Forgiving others trespasses is one of the hardest things for us. This was very well written and very enjoyable to read, but next time you submit a wonderful story please put a space between paragraphs. It makes it easier for us to read. Good job and keep writing.
A moving story—one that I can feel the emotions stirring within. Forgiveness is so important even when we don’t feel like it, and God has forgiven us much more. Excellent work!
You have a strong, effective writing style. I enjoyed your bout with forgiveness issues but I have a couple of small suggestions. Use a space between paragraphs and your readers will love you for it. Also, using italics for her thoughts is an effective tool to learn.

Small suggestions but it is all I can come up with for such a fine entry.
My suggestions have already been made by someone else. Your details of imagery added to the story, and you showed your characters well, including your mc's emotions. I think it's fine, considering the word restrictions, to leave your readers wondering why her father had stayed away so long. I especially like your message of forgiveness, made possible by the Holy Spirit.
Congratulations on your HC. The dad's physical description showed the weight he had obviously been carrying for a very long time. Great writing.