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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Communication Breakdown (12/16/10)

TITLE: Through the eyes of babes
By James Heath


The choir director was shouting at the janitor about a slippery spot on the floor, while the assistant pastor was shouting at the choir director.Suddenly the pastor sprung from his seat and yelled "just how long is all this going to take"? The beginning time for the start of service had already passed and snickers mixed with bits of laughter could be heard in different parts of the congregation as one man leaned over to his wife and thanked her for "dragging" him to church. Why this is better than football. I wouldn't have missed this for nothing in the world. Also another man said so this is what church is all about huh? I go through this everyday at the office. Suddenly as if nothing else could go wrong, the childcare director was shouting from the back of the sanctuary. "The children are fighting and I can't break them up". At once a rush of parents proceeded to the childcare area many in hopes that their own children were not involved. To all the parents amazement all the kids seemed torn or in some way ruffled by a ruckus. The pastor himself made his way through the crowd only to see his own child apart of the whole ordeal.
After the pastor calmed everyone down he asked the children why? We teach you better than this.
One by one they responded. We were playing church and watching you all and thought this was how church was supposed to be. Like the woman caught in adultery one by one the parents put their belts and spanking materials away. Moral: the world is watching how we communicate through our actions.

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This article has been read 256 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nancy Sullivan 12/23/10
So true. "A little child shall lead..." Sadly, they also follow. Great reminder that we're being watched - and duplicated.
Fern Brown12/23/10
We need to be constantly aware of how our actions and speech affect others - especially little children who imitate us. Good message. God bless you with a Merry Christmas!
Mildred Sheldon12/24/10
No truer words have ever been spoken. How we act, talk and teach through our actions is how the world perceives us. Are we sending a Godly message? A child practices what he is taught. Thank you for a vey true to life story.
Brenda Rice 12/25/10
A great lesson here and one we all to keep in mind. Watch your spacing between paragraphs. Adding a space makes the article easier to read. Thanks and Merry Christmas.
diana kay12/27/10
through the eyes of babes indeed. a clever story and well told. now you need to look at the boring things like layout and paragraph spacing to give a little shine to your work. check out a few of the other stories where there is speech and you will soon get the hang of that. well done for using this idea and slant on the theme
Sarah Heywood12/29/10
Hmm...makes you think, doesn't it? You have a nice message here. Try using more white space between paragraphs and commas within your sentences - this will make your writing even more enjoyable to the reader.

Keep it up!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/29/10
You have a nice sense of humor and delivered a great message.

You've got a great start on writing short stories. In the forums there is a great thread called Jan's Writing Basics levels It's really helpful for all levels of writers.

Keep on writing.