I just dropped in for a cup of tea and maybe a word or two
It came from Mrs. Soandso; I know it must be true.
The rumor mill is running hot, spewing forth pure gold
With stories full of shocking news. The likes have not been told.
It all began when just last night – well that part doesn’t matter
I hear Ms. Newintown arrived and eyes were lookin’ at her
Can’t say for sure, but some folks think Mr. Deacon is the one
That couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He even called her “hon”.
Then there’s that kid that just got caught. You know which one I mean?
He’s tall and blond or short and blond, or somewhere in between.
Well, anyway, you know those kids, they lie and steal, then run
I even heard that one of them is Pastor Someone’s son!
The last I heard, Brother Cantdoright is in trouble once again.
Seems he fell into an empty pew, passed out from too much gin.
The goings on around this place are enough to make one drink
Guess that’s why Sister SmilesALLthetime hides her stash ‘neath the sink.
Now, don’t you go and tell the folks that you heard this from me.
Why, I just somehow, always seem unfortunate to be
Within the earshot of such things that do go on and on
Lord knows, I hate this job of guidin’ everyone along.
But truth is truth, and Good Lord knows, these things have got to stop
Before the devil has his way and harvests his sinful crop.
No need to send me flowers or give me undue thanks.
Just please be sure to contact ME once YOU’ve filled in the blanks.
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