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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Think (09/02/10)

TITLE: Thinking Gets Grownups in Trouble
By Deborah Riall


I know it’s bedtime an’ all, but I just gotta sit for a spell and sort out all the stuff that’s goin’ on in my head right now. You ever have your life goin’ along all smooth like and then – Poof! It’s all turned topsy turvy!

It started with Uncle Donald gettin’ up on the wrong side of the bed this mornin’. At the breakfast table, he was goin’ on and on about how Bob Jenkins wasn’t pullin’ his weight at work an’ he was going to march right in and tell his boss a thing or two.

Then Aunt Faye started gettin’ all upset ‘cause her roses didn’t look just right and the yard-of-the-month folk would be around any day. She pulled down the almanac and plopped it right next to th’ biscuits, almost topplin’ the blackberry jam in the process. She sat through breakfast tryin’ to find something that would make those flowers perk up.

After breakfast, Uncle Donald stormed out of the house ready to take on the world, and Aunt Faye drug a big bag of manure out to her rose garden.

Moma had been real quiet durin’ all this, so when she was drivin’ me to school I asked her about it. She said she had some things on her mind and I shouldn’t worry about anything. Then she did the most curious thing when we got to school. She hugged me up real close and told me everything was goin’ to be all right and that we’d gotten on just fine without Josh Turner. I coulda sworn I saw a tear in her eye as she drove off.

After school this afternoon, I stopped in for an ice cream at th’ Rexall and bumped in to Josh Turner just as he was payin’ for a real pretty box of chocolates. I thought how that was gonna cheer my Moma right up. Then I noticed this Josh handed the chocolates to a lady outside. He must’ve felt sorry for her since she probably couldn’t afford much. Shoot – she couldn’t even afford clothes. She was dressed in these real tight shorts with a patch right on the bottom and her shirt was so little it didn’t hide her belly button.

When I got home, I noticed three big piles in the front flower bed where Aunt Faye’s roses had been just this mornin’. Aunt Faye was sittin’ in the den just a-cryin’. It seems she’d piled so much fertilizer on them that you could barely see the roses through all that manure and then she finds out she picked up th’ wrong almanac and this is the wrong season to be fertilizin’ her roses. Now Mrs. Jenkins was sure to win Yard-Of-The-Month and Aunt Faye would have to start all over with her roses next spring. I figured Aunt Faye should be happy for Mrs. Jenkins, seein’ how she’s spent so much time on it since Mr. Jenkins passed on last year. Aunt Faye looked at me all funny and said she hadn’t thought of that.

Uncle Donald came home early tonight just rantin’ and ravin’ about how his boss had sided with Bob Jenkins and if Uncle Donald couldn’t get along with people he may as well just knock off early and go home. Now he was short two hours’ wages and Mr. Jenkins got a full days pay for doing nothing. Belinda Jenkins has been absent from math class all week with the flu and I couldn’t help thinkin’ that her Daddy might be sick, too.

Moma was the only one in a good mood at dinner tonight. She dropped off some old clothes for the needy at the church today and met the new youth pastor. Moma said she planned to do a lot of volunteerin’ up at the church now. It seems she’s forgot all about Josh Turner.

I just don’t get all this. Seems Uncle Donald thought his plans out and got himself in trouble. Aunt Faye didn’t plan very good at all and ruined her roses. And Moma’s been worryin’ over that Josh Turner all this time and it just might be that God’s picked out a better man for her. At least she’ll be goin’ to church more now.

Looks like all that thinkin’ adults do just makes things worse. When I grow up I think I’m going to pray first, then think. And then pray some more!

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This article has been read 312 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Mildred Sheldon09/09/10
I enjoyed this very much. I loved how the child analized each situation and the end of the story was perfect. The slang word for mother I believe is mama. Thank you and God bless you.
Johnna Postic09/09/10
This story captivated my attention, which doesn't happen too often. Well done!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/11/10
I fell in love with the MC in the first paragraph you did a great job with this one. It's definitely one of my favorites. Keep writing!!
Kathy Barnes09/15/10
I love the story and could not wait for the ending. Good job.
Sarah Heywood09/15/10
This was really good! I loved the "country" sound you gave to the main character and how the ending paragraph summed up everybody's individual situations. Told from the viewpoint of a child, it was just precious!