The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/19/05
The large blocks of text are rather intimidating. You need to work on creating smaller paragraphs and leaving lines between them. Paragraphs are usually 4-6 sentences and you use a new paragraph when time, place or action changes. (In this piece, first paragraph change should be between "reluctantly." and "When")
09/20/05
Your second paragraph begins with a very deep and profound sentence. I have been there. Blessings to you.