The Official Writing Challenge
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I enjoyed the story. The children's dialog didn't sound exactly right. But the wisdom of the mother prevailed. There's a good lesson in this for both parents and children alike.
I enjoyed your story. Parents today must stay on top of what children watch on TV, the internet and the like. Good job and God bless.
I like how you started with a story (great attention-getter), then used the story as a springboard for presenting truth. I also like how you used the "love of money..." verse as an example of the "things" themselves not necessarily being evil, but the use of them in our lives. I can see a young mom being encouraged by this article. Nicely done.
Good lesson in this one. I enjoyed your writing. I stumbled a little bit when the point of view changed. When Suzie began asking the kids questions, the POV of your story seemed to change from Suzie's POV to a third person POV. None-the-less, very good writing. Thanks.