The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/20/10
I loved the vivid description of both the characters and setting. I would've liked for the story to have been a little longer and maybe a small change in the main character. I did appreciate the sadness of the ending.
08/20/10
What you have is well-written, but I wanted a little more. Maybe an inkling of guilt from Jim as he got on the warm bus,or a hint of why the boy was out there and why it wasn't what Jim thought. Keep writing!
A very vivid story and the pain of living on the streets. The feeling of rejection cuts deeply. I wanted more. Would have loved a happier ending but being a panhandler not always true.
This had me sitting on the edge of my seat. You did a great job with your characters. I could easily picture them in my mind.I was longing to know more, what happened to the boy? How did he end up on the streets? But then again life doesn't always have a happy ending. We by now means get all of our questions answered in real life either. So for that I commend you for keeping it sad, but realistic.
Riveting. You had my attention, but I agree with the previous comment. I wanted more. :o)