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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Touch (the sense of touch) (08/05/10)

TITLE: Wake Me From This Dream
By Carolyn Richardson


I watched as my arm dangled off the side of the bed, swaying in perfect rhythm, just like a pendulum in a grandfather clock. As I watched it move with no effort from me, I wondered why I couldn’t make it stop. My mind commanded the motion to cease. I wanted to shout from the top of my lungs but nothing came out! Nothing worked! It was as if my body was broken. Where am I anyway? Everything here is white. Wires…What are these wires? I felt like me inside but the outside was much different; not what I remembered at all.

Help someone! Help! I need answers; but no one came. No one heard me. My mouth moved but only a slight utterance filled the air. If I pull myself up in the bed, surely someone in this place will see me. I hear their voices so they must be close by. Come on arms, pull me up! Lift me straight and high so I can be seen. But once again nothing happened. How can this be? I feel my body, I feel the cold. As a matter of fact I’m very cold. I need the blanket at the end of the bed pulled up over me. It’s not too far. I’ll simply use my feet to position myself just right and then scoot underneath it. My plan seemed like a good one for the moment, but that too was short lived.

“What’s happening?” I cried out loud, yet without a sound! A silent cry was all I could muster. My arms, my legs, my whole body, was rebelling against me. This was like nothing I had ever been through before. Could I be dreaming? Yes, that’s it! I’m really ok! Oh, but what is this? My body began to jerk all over; flipping and flopping like a fish out of water! Come on brain! Enough! Wake up! Wake up! Help me sweet Lord! Please get me out of this dream!

The Lord really does work in mysterious ways. He heard my cries when no one else could. He brought help and an answer just when I needed it most! He had been with me the whole time but I had not realized it! My God is great and I felt his love at the perfect moment!

All of a sudden, spewing from my mouth like an eruption from a volcano, was a nasty hot liquid! “Hurry, turn her on her side!” a lady running toward me said. She was talking to another lady running right behind her. Finally, help had come! Maybe now I’ll wake up. This had to be what my mind was holding out for. I desired help and until I got it, my body would continue on with this bizarre dream. Ah, but now it's coming to a close. My help, my answer is just moments away and I’ll awake to a new day; a normal day just as before.

“Poor little thing. Roll her over and let’s clean her up,” she said. Talking as if I weren’t even there, this lady in white continued. “She can’t feel anything you know. She’s paralyzed from the neck down!”

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Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/15/10
You did a great job in building up the suspense. I had sensed she had died or was in a coma. I yearn to know more about your character and her story. An editing note- ok is spelled okay. You have a gift with building a suspenseful story, keep writing.
Phee Paradise 08/17/10
You really brought me into the MC's mind and did a good job of keeping me as confused as she was. The end was a surprise, even though I should have known it. One thing that would have made it read a little more smoothly is to keep it all in one tense. Otherwise, good job.