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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Smell (the sense of smell) (07/29/10)

TITLE: Ode on a not-so-Grecian Nose
By Troy Manning


I like to smell things with my nose. My nose is very special to me. With it I can smell a lot of things, like flowers for instance. Flowers are pretty to me. They look nice and they smell nice. But just because they smell nice doesnít mean people should pick them any more than they should a nose. We need to learn how to leave things well enough alone. I hate zoos for instance. It gives me the creeps the way the animals there just stare at me. Eventually I have to leave because they have given me so many creeps. My nose does not like the zoo either, especially the elephants.

I donít like it when my nose gets red. Since I donít drink all that much, it usually means I am cold when my nose is red. When I am too cold I sometimes get sick. I used to like when I got sick, but now that I am too old to go to school I donít get sent home. When my nose is red and I am sick, I donít smell good. When I donít smell good I donít know whether or not I have a stink.

I sometimes wonder if my nose is too big. I think bulbous is the word my mother used. I would rather have a round nose than a little pointy one though. I donít know what good a pointy nose would be. If you have a pointy nose I am not purposely trying to offend you. I suppose it comes down to the old question between aesthetics and pragmatics. Your pointy nose might technically look better than mine, but I think mine is much more functionalóespecially when it comes to flowers. I once had a girlfriend with a small pointy nose, so, for Valentineís Day, I gave her chocolates.

I once had a dream that I was an elephant. I was very upset when I woke up. You probably think I was upset because having a nose like an elephant would make me happy. If that were the case, I would be a very superficial person. It is true sometimes that more is better, but oneís happiness should never depend on nose size. If you have had a nose job I am not trying to offend you. There is nothing wrong with our trying to look the best we can within reason. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, so I am assuming you have had a reasonable nose job.

There is much more to be said on the subject of elephants, but perhaps just one more will suffice for now. I am not so sure that elephants can actually smell very well. I once tried to smell through a hose and all I smelled was rubber. While I love the smell of flowers, I hate the smell of rubber. And that, incidentally, is why I woke up screaming.

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This article has been read 375 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nancy Sullivan 08/05/10
Thank you for starting my day with a much-needed laugh.
So clever and absolutely funny! Great job.
Dorene Lang08/05/10
Yes, I agree. This made me smile all the way through.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/06/10
The first line made me laugh out loud. I enjoyed your humor and your description of your nose.