Honey, Can You Hear Me Now?
“RRRRooooooaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr!” The deafening sound woke me instantly. A blood-curdling scream erupted like a volcano from the depths of my lungs, as I bolted from the recliner where I had been napping. We were both shaking – he with laughter – I with fright.
He wanted my attention. He had it now. I heard him distinctly.
“How many times have I asked you not to do that? You know it scares me to death.” I asked him, feathers ruffled, but maintaining perfect dignity.
How mad I wanted to be! Struggling to contain his amusement, he hugged me gently, as serenity replaced my annoyance. “What is so funny about waking me up?” I demanded quietly.
We had the same discussion weekly. Each time he scared me out of my wits, I calmly explained my aggravation. “Do you hear anything I’m trying to tell you?” Apparently not. His laughter drowned my complaints.
“It’s not funny. You are absolutely ridiculous laughing like that.” His body convulsed with torrents of merriment. I continued, “I’ll get even with you, Big Boy! You can count on it! I don’t want to make you mad, but you’ll get over it. I always do.” Idle threats no longer troubled my prankster husband.
As I read in Proverbs, I came across the verse, “Say not, I will do so to him as he hath done to me: I will render to the man according to his work.” God’s timing astounded me. He told me I could NOT pay back ‘the man’.
“Okay, Lord, I hear you. I know you have the answer. I’ve talked till I’m blue in the face and he just doesn’t hear! What can I do?”
Thumbing through the Bible, the answer hit me squarely between my scowling brows. “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.”
This time I applied the verse from my husband’s perspective. “Thank you, Lord. I think my husband needs a frisky, playful wife. I need to stop being a stick-in-the-mud. Help me be as much fun as I used to be.”
A short time later, after Sunday night church, he dropped my daughter and me off at the front porch and drove to the back of the house. His habit was to park the car, enter the back door and race to the living room in answer to our continuous ringing of the doorbell - before turning on any lights.
The moon and stars shined brightly in the black sky, giving me just enough light to unlock the front door. Slipping softly into the dining room, I hid behind the far side of the table. Karate chops from a black belt Tae Kwon Do expert would deflate the surprise I planned for my ‘man’. Our daughter behaved according to custom. The doorbell chimes resonated sweetly. Suspecting nothing to be amiss, my husband hotfooted through the house to let us in.
Until…he hustled into the dining room… in the dark.
I whispered, “BOO”.
He didn’t need a hearing aid. His feet boomeranged!
When he landed, he courteously said, “Just see if I am a gentleman again. From now on you can get the door yourself.”
“I did get the door myself, Dah…ling,” I drawled, unsuccessfully suppressing my laughter.
Weeks passed and he didn’t scare me again. Feisty was fun. The gentleman was allowing me to take two turns in a row.
Busy cleaning the bathroom while he did yard work, I heard the rear door slam as he entered. With toilet bowl brush in hand, I dashed into the tub and jerked the liner closed. Out-of-control giggles threatened my secret mission.
“He should’ve been here by now. What is he doing?” I waited…, and waited… and waited.
In surrender, I stepped dejectedly out of the bathtub, assuming this scheme to be on hold.
Immediately footsteps headed my direction. “Lord,” I prayed urgently, “Should I scare him?”
The answer, “Yes,” came quickly. Diving into the shower, almost yanking the curtain down, I doubled over in silent laughter.
As he washed his hands and before he could imagine what was happening, I pelted from my hiding place and grabbed him around the waist, whispering loudly, “RRRRooooaaaaaarrr!”
Surprise, laughter, threats and promises for future warfare ensued.
Learning to hear each other has been hilarious. We are having the time of our lives!
Proverbs 24:29, Luke 6:31 KJV
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