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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Hear (07/08/10)

TITLE: Whispers in the wind
By Maria Egilsson


Soundless words of a hidden voice strain at the seam of my soul. Vocal rhythms yet unspoken tremble and resound within the closet of my mind. Skeletons of thought, yet un-fleshed, gnaw at my heart.

Whispered words reverberate in echoes of silent disambiguation. Muffled sounds are elucidated as their mystery is unfolded. Light illuminates fragmented thought as they burrow deep within my heart.

A redoubt of solitude protects the voice of this fledging writer as soundless words softly gather their strength. Prisms of light reflect the myriad meaning of strands of beaded thought. Those that shimmer with ambiguity are banished into the abattoir until their ambiloquence is stripped away.

Sitting quietly in this place I hear His voice on the wings of the wind, “These words shall live”. The soft rattle of dry bones make a cacophony of disjointed sound as fragments of thought join together as one. Sinew upon sinew, flesh upon flesh, the words stand upon their feet as His breath blows upon this dry valley of bones.

The euphonious wind creates an arrangement of melodic sound that can no longer be restrained. Whispered words become a shout pregnant with the promise of new life.

With pen in hand I begin to write the words that speak from deep within. An army of ordinary words yet their sound will be heard by hearts that are hungry to hear.

“Nature bends its ear to hear the voice of Him who calls. Seasons of life come and go and come again. New life will spring forth; in His time and in its season. God whispers His promise in the wind; “rain will come, it will fall on the dry and thirsty land.” God whispers and the land will bloom again.”

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This article has been read 745 times
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Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/15/10
I think my favorite line was... by hearts that are hungry to hear. It is so true that there are many hearts out there hungering for the Word of God.

But I feel you might have lost some of those hearts by using so many big words. Many publishers suggest writing between a 6-9 grade reading level if you're writing for the general public.

Your words were so powerful, and your passion is palpable. It would be a shame if people skipped over this piece because they felt intimidated by some of the words.

Don't ever lose your passion or give up writing. You have beautiful messages that people need and want to hear.
Joanna Stricker07/15/10
I loved this, especially how you reflected on the dry bones coming together, and how God brings words together and breathes life upon them.
AnneRene' Capp07/16/10
I am in awe at the beauty of your words portrayed in such inspiring thought. You have a real gift and I look forward to seeing all of the places you will go with your writing. I do agree that fewer fancy words would make it a bit less intimidating for "basic minds" like mine. :)
Charla Diehl 07/16/10
I enjoyed the message within this story but needed a dictionary to fully understand some of the words. I like learning the meaning of unfamiliar words, but use them cautiously and sparingly.
Ruth Brown07/17/10
I loved how you shared your writers heart. Some wonderful symbolism. Blessing, Ruth
wendell a brown 07/18/10
i enjoyed the use of vocabulary...it kept my attention and was an easy read for me. The thought was precious throughout. You will touch a very educated group that might not ordinarily read a poem because you stimulate their intellect!
Tina Leonard07/18/10
The message you share here is great. Unfortunately it is very hard to read. It almost comes across as forced elegance of wording to the point where I am sure many would have to pause to recall what certain words mean, or actually stop to look them up. Just my thoughts, but keep writing. :)
Chely Roach07/18/10
I loved the imagery in the line, Whispered words become a shout pregnant with the promise of new life. Beautiful message...
Rikki Akeo07/18/10
Reminds me that wisdom is whispered whereas truly shouted words is usually bad advice!
(God whispers while that other guy...shouts)
Lollie Hofer07/19/10
Poetic prose is a dying art and you masterfully brought it back to life. Beautiful imagery. I agree with Michele - I liked that line too.
Mildred Sheldon07/19/10
I enjoyed this but had to use my dictionary on some of the words. The last few line said it all. Truly beautiful. To me this should be a winner.
Dorene Lang07/19/10
I too find that God is the one who wakens my words. I cannot write without His guidance. The word choices were nice but I agree that some were confusing.
Mona Purvis07/20/10
How brilliant you are! Each line has so much to say that I read it over again. Yes, you use a wealth of vocabulary, but it works so well in this work. I had to work at it.
Splendid content and expression.

Colin Swann07/20/10
I love the haunting quality of your writing in this piece. Thanks!
Carol Slider 07/20/10
Your use of language is exquisite, and I love the poetic feel of this. I especially enjoyed it because I'm reading through Ezekiel right now. Beautiful writing!
Angela M. Baker-Bridge07/20/10
You've struck many different cords in your readers, that's a good thing because the poem will be remembered by all! Weigh all of the comments, then follow your own heart and gut. We all write to a different audience, determined by our God-given gifts.