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The times had been hard—I was hounded by creditors,
So I made the decision to fire my editor.
I’ve got three mouths to feed: me, the dog and a cat.
Why should we all go hungry, while an editor grows fat?
With my pets as companions, that should be enuff,
As I write out each outline, compose every ruff.
Then I’ll do my own edits, find each tiny defect;
When I finish the process, it should be purrfect!
“Why do I need an editor?” is the logical question.
I can write stellar content without his direction.
When I make a sandwich, do I pick up the phone
To ask his opinion, to hear his voice drone,
On the choice of my cheese: colby, swiss, cheddar?
No! I do it myself, and it turns out much beddar.
And so with my writing, this could have been fate;
Just like with the cheese, I’m sure it will be grate!
Though I’m only one person, I’ll just wear two hats.
Can anyone tell me just what’s wrong with that?
Sure, I’ll have to work longer—burn both ends of the candle;
With enough cups of coffee, there’s no job I can’t handle.
What a wonder of nature, coming straight from a bean;
It’s the editor’s friend, and they call it caffean.
Oh the marvelous powers of the this magical brew;
If I drink more and more, it will help me get threw.
One more thing I will need to do editing right:
Manuals from Chicago, AP, Strunk and White.
Then I’ll know what he knows, and I’ll never forget it;
Save a fortune in fees as I do my own edits.
After all, I’m no dummy, that’s why I went to college,
So I could get paid for my wisdom and knowlege.
And I can’t understand why the path goes untrodden;
Doing work with no editor is really know problem!
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