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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Critique/Review (for writers) (05/06/10)

TITLE: Truth in All of Us
By Amber S.


“Why did you mark this?!” Sian huffed, pointing to a red line on her manuscript.

Jinx glanced up from her newspaper, lowering her monocle to better focus on the other black haired faerie. “Mark what?”

“This!” Sian held the paper up. Jinx sighed, retrieved her monocle, and examined the page.

“Ah, that part.” She coughed and returned to her paper.

Sian tapped her foot. “Well?”

Jinx, monocle now stuck in front of her eye, raised her head to squint up at Sian. “You know,” she commented, leaning against their author's pillow. “Your pink striped bangs really set off the reddness of your cheeks when you are irritated.”

“Maximilliene Levana Sehston!” Sian thundered, flaring her dragon-like wings. “Tell me what's wrong with my manuscript!”

Jinx snatched at her top hat to keep it from flying off, blew a strand of her own black hair from her face, and set her paper down. “Call me by my full name again and I'll tell you nothing.” She crossed her legs. “I simply didn't think it suited your... Beliefs.”

“My beliefs?”

Jinx shrugged, repositioning her monocle. “Indeed. I wouldn't have thought that sort of thing good to be written for one of your convictions. We all write things that reflect what we feel, correct?”

Sian nodded hesitantly.

“This,” Jinx tapped the manuscript Sian held, “Doesn't reflect what is in here.” She twirled her cane in the air and poked Sian in the chest. “And therefore it makes it sound fake. To me at least. And it will to anyone that knows you. And to those that don't know you, they'll think you are an utterly different person than who you are.”

Sian shoved Jinx's cane away. “People aren't interested in what I have inside.” She whirled around and leaped off the bed, fluttering to the other side of the room.

Jinx shook her head and went back to her paper.

Sian plopped onto the pillow of the other bed. Jinx had no right to treat her or her manuscript like that. She scowled and flopped backwards. She had stayed up all night to get this written. For what?

She sighed.


Sian jumped to her feet, gaze darting around the room. That voice... It hadn't been Jinx. No, it had been male.

Her eyes caught on another faerie, brown haired, darkish skin, walking towards her. She shifted from foot to foot, wondering who this newcomer was. Didn't their author have enough faeries already?

“Who are you?” she demanded.

The other faerie smiled a moment, then nodded to her manuscript. “May I read it?”

Sian hesitated. “Why?”

He shrugged. “I'm curious.”

Sian pulled down the corner of her mouth, but handed it to him.

The other faerie's face became pained. Sian started to snap something at him, but he spoke before she could.

“Why have you written this?”

He sounded almost sad.

“'Cause that's what people like to read.” Sian put her hands on her hips.

The other studied her. “Is it what you want others to read though?”

Sian blinked. “What?”

“What people want to read and what they should read are two different things, Sian.” He handed the manuscript back to her. “You have talent. You should use it to spread truth, not... Not lies. Not things people shouldn't read.”


The other put a finger on her lips. “Sian, I want you to write things. I want to you be successful. But that isn't why I gave you your talent.”

“But...” Wait, what? Sian blinked.

She was on her back on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling.

She sat up with a jolt. “Where'd you go?!” she demanded.

“What?” Jinx sat up from the other bed, quirking an eyebrow and giving her a genuinely concerned look.

Sian looked down at her manuscript, then back up at Jinx. “Er... Nothing. Just...” She frowned, flipping her bangs out of her face. “Nothing.” She bounced off of the bed and back over to Jinx. “Do you think you could help me with this? You're right.” She rolled her eyes. “As usual about this sort of thing.”

Jinx chuckled. “I know. Since when am I not?” She winked as Sian settled beside her. “Where shall we begin?”

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This article has been read 356 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Caitlyn Meissner05/13/10
Your title fits this article very well. I think it is a real temptation to write things that would make us popular authors with this world, instead of with Christ. I'm glad that you allowed your character to discover the truth, because her discovery has helped me see the truth as well. :)
Lisha Hunnicutt05/13/10
I really enjoyed this piece. The dialog really drew me in and the bits of character descriptions here and there made it interesting. I wanted to keep reading to find out what kind of creatures the characters were and to find out what Sian had written that was objectionable. In the end I liked it was good that you never told us what Sian wrote because there was a far more important point to be made.
AnneRene' Capp05/13/10
As always...very entertaining with a great message. These playful little fairies are so fun and I can picture each one, so well!
Mildred Sheldon05/13/10
Loved the title. It fit the story to a tee. Truth always trumps fiction and some fiction is enough to curl peoples hair. Enjoyed this immensely.