The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Thank you for your story. I enjoyed this very much.
This was not only informative for this newbie, you have an extra appealing flair for putting your author in your MC's shoes. I chuckled at her "showering extra thoroughly", I've been there! :)
05/07/10
I love the feeling of suspense throughout this, and the open ending.

I'd have liked to see more "show" and less "tell"--perhaps some dialog? More indications of your MC's varying emotions?

Loved the little wordplay with the word "proposal".