The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/13/05
A good edit would tighten up this story. For example, you have "sale" for "sail", and you have an ambulance lifting Grandpa onto the stretcher. I'd actually like to see this as two stories--one about the jealousy, and one about the Grandpa. Good job, keep writing!
09/14/05
Good story.