Lifted up and out of my natural surroundings I found myself as the sole spectator in a darkened movie theatre illuminated by the warm ambiance of low-lit sconces.
I was nestled within the arms of an oversized and well-appointed chair, which like the drapes adorning the blackened screen in front of me, was covered in a deep shade of purple velvet.
Sitting in silence, I began pondering the events that led up to this moment. I had been reading the book of Matthew and had become deeply angered over the atrocities Jesus suffered throughout his crucifixion. Not only by the Roman soldiers but the Priests, Scribes, and Elders as well and my heart felt like broken shards of glass at the humility my Lord had endured.
However now, only tranquility filled me for the Holy Spirit was with me, around me, and in me.
As the regal drapes began their graceful ceremonial parting to reveal the massive screen coming to life, I felt it odd that there was no sound until the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I would hear with my heart.
In color, I saw many people of all ages lying or sitting on the ground surrounded by a circular short rock wall. Some lay in fetal positions writhing in obvious misery while others were huddled in sitting positions with their arms wrapped tightly around their knees; and some just lay motionless with a blank stare upon their faces.
In the distance, I saw a multitude of people making their way towards those within the rock circle, but for some reason I saw those who were approaching only in black and white and void of any emotion, when I noticed they were faceless.
They began to reach out to certain people and comfort them but none reached out to the ones lying on the ground in the fetal positions. As if carefully picking and choosing, they would only offer help to a select few and I became overtaken with great sorrow until I could bare it no longer. Turning away, I sobbingly questioned my purpose of witnessing such heartless behavior.
Without words, the Holy Spirit rested His peace upon me and once more tranquility overcame me as the screen came back to life.
This time I saw Jesus hanging on the cross at Calvary still alive and still very much in pain. His agony became mine as I watched those same faceless people surround Him. Only this time their backs were to me as they began spitting on Him and throwing stones while they reviled Him.
I became furious and pleaded for God to destroy them until that gut wrenching moment when I was suddenly looking down upon this crowd and saw them through the eyes of Jesus as He hung there.
These faceless people now had faces but malice and rage disfigured them and they were almost inhuman looking until I recognized one face in particular and became horrified as I realized it was mine.
Gasping in repulsion, I slammed my eyes shut and instantly found myself back inside my chair writhing in my own anguish as the screen went black and the curtains drew closed.
Crying out with inexhaustible torment, I began pleading to God. “Father, please forgive me for asking that any should be destroyed and judging who is worthy to live and who is not. Forgive me of my arrogance in believing that I am above those who turned against you at Calvary.
“The people who no one would help were the offenders of the afflicted who have been abandoned and judged by us who have made ourselves self righteous in our own eyes. For it is written in your word Lord, that You came to save all sinners.
“Holy Father, cleanse me from all unrighteousness and allow me to continue being your tool with the talent you have gifted me in. Allow me to encourage all of your children by sharing and even exposing the paths I have traveled in so that I may touch even one lost soul with Your compassion and mercy.”
Suddenly, the darkness gradually faded into brightness and I felt the Holy Spirit wash over my despair until it was gone.
“Go my child and sin no more.”
The revelation in this story is true,
And continues to be a life-altering reminder,
That humbleness is the skill I seek as the author of my heart.
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