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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Writer’s Skill/Craft (04/22/10)

TITLE: In The Eye Of The Beholder
By Brian Haugrud


The writer of the story tell,
With words and phrases spelled out well.
Carefully placed with structure set.
But still a judge will hold the bet.

To tell us whether good or bad.
It brings a smile or leaves them sad.
The style they like and score it high.
The style they hate and say good bye.

The writer’s skill is relative.
In wrong hands is like a sieve.
Meaning comes in tidbits sweet.
Some will see them as a treat.

Others cannot get the flow.
Makes no sense to them, you know.
Their review reflects defeat.
With buried words beneath their feet.

I love the written Word of God.
On those words most men have trod.
They make no sense, some will say.
Still others find the light of day.

The writers of the Bible old.
Were correct in what was told.
King James may write to please one kind.
To others, N I V’s the sign.

What you expect, from what you read.
Could depend on inner need.
Or maybe just the mood you’re in.
How was your day, how have you been?

So when I write; a grain of salt.
If it’s not liked, where is the fault?
Encouragement placed on my shoulder.
“Is In The Eye Of The Beholder.”

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This article has been read 369 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Mildred Sheldon04/29/10
Very well written. I love poetry and this covered subject beautifully. Keep writing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/29/10
How true your words are! But how boring the world would be without variety. Good job.
angelos2 wark04/30/10
Your Poem covered the subject beautifully.
I especially liked the last two lines.
As writers maybe we should take God more seriously and ourselves less serious.
Just a thought.
Loved this poem. Good job.
Charla Diehl 05/01/10
I enjoyed reading your poem which illustrated the topic perfectly. I especially liked your last verse which summed this up nicely.
Just a bit of red ink: Watch your use of commas and periods. Just a couple of examples to explain--
The writer of the story tell(,) I'd delete this comma
With words and phrases spelled out well.
Carefully placed with structure set(.) replace the period with a comma
But still a judge will hold the bet.

To tell us whether good or bad(.) replace this period with a comma
It brings a smile or leaves them sad.
AnneRene' Capp 05/01/10
Thoughtfully crafted. Especially liked your line: What you expect from what you read could depend on inner need. That's awesome :)
Caitlyn Meissner05/02/10
I did enjoy your poem, and I liked the message behind it. It's a good idea to get a wide variety of criticism before you decide whether your work is "good" or "bad".

The one thing that jarred with me was the very first line. It just wasn't grammatical. One writer 'tells'. Two writers "tell".

But don't let that little tad of red ink bother you. Grammar isn't as important as a good message, and believe me, this was a very good message. :)
Jan Ackerson 05/03/10
I loved this--and I'm loving the irony of leaving a critique...

...but I found the word 'sieve' to be a bit of a 'forced rhyme'.

But hey--re-read your last stanza, and shrug this off. Love your attitude.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/06/10
Congratulations in placing in the top 6 in your level.