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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Reader (04/15/10)

TITLE: The Sojourner
By AnneRene' Capp
04/21/10


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Awakened with a jolting ka-thump, I found myself lying upon a sandy moonlit beach.

Frantically, I began searching the barren landscape for clues about where I was.

“My friend, how is it you have come to such a deserted place as this?”

Jerking around quickly to see who was speaking from behind me, I saw a statuesque man, dressed in a sandy colored tunic swathed with a deep blue cloak and was speechless.

“Do not be afraid little sojourner, for I believe I know who you are and where you have come from.”

“Sir, although I know who I am, I have no idea how I got here or even where I am.”

I was aware that although he was speaking Greek and I English, we both understood one another.

Commandingly but warmly, he stepped toward me and offered me his hand. “Come; let us proceed to a place of comfort where we can share in fellowship with one another.”

As we walked in silence, I reflected over the name he had called me, it was somehow familiar.

As we reached the opening of a cave, he motioned for me to enter. Once inside, he pointed to several shallow and elongated holes within the earthen floor that were lined and padded with leaves. “Please sit and make yourself comfortable.”

He then handed me some type of bread that was dry and coarse along with a mug made of bronze in which he filled with water from a barrel.

Bowing his head and waiting for me to follow, he humbly gave thanks to the Lord for what we were about to share. Ashamedly, I took this opportunity to hide half the portion of bread he had served me inside my shirt pocket. It felt and looked like sand paper, which after tasting it, was glad, I did.

“You must have many questions little sojourner, as do I. I have often wondered how God’s mighty word would be spread and received in a time such as yours and believe you are the instrument God has chosen to quiet the inquisitiveness that stirs within me.

“My fellow bondservant in Christ, Paul, spoke of a brief encounter with a young foreigner who claimed to have lived in the 21st Century. However, he was undecided if you had been real or only a dream.”

“I remember now! I had been reading the book of Acts about how Saul became blind after a light from heaven shined around him. It was in Damascus during the three days afterward, that I was suddenly with him.

“I told him how all that he would write about, would be read throughout the world, bringing many into the kingdom of our Lord and Savior.

“Before Ananias arrived, and he bid me farewell he expressed his great humbleness to have received such kindness and mercy from a Christian he once lived to destroy.

“Tonight, I was reading the last book of the completed Bible called Revelation where you wrote about the end times, so assume that you are John and this is the island of Patmos.”

“It is true and I hunger for all that you have to share with me.”

“This Island is still very much a part of my world and has become a Christian pilgrimage for many.

The Bible is now translated into over 2,400 different languages and disciples of God’s word continue to travel to those parts of the world that have yet to hear His word. Sadly, though, there are still those who continue to loose their lives for sharing the Gospel of Christ.

As we concluded our many hours of questions and answers, the early light of day was now proclaiming the morning sunrise, which would soon follow; when a man, whose presence I had not been aware of, appeared from the darkened recesses of the cave and spoke to John.

“Shall I write all that has been shared here this night?”

“Ah, my dear brother Prochorus, we are only to write that which has been ordained by God. My time spent here with this little sojourner, has been a time of refreshment, and must stay amongst ourselves.”

The night had been long and we were soon fast asleep.

When I awoke to my familiar surroundings, I vividly remembered all that I had dreamt, when something crackled beneath me. Sitting up, I could only stare in awe as I saw what appeared to be the bread I had hidden from John in my dream.


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This article has been read 470 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Mildred Sheldon04/24/10
I loved the title and the story. We are all sojourners traveling towards our permanent home. Thank you for a very gripping story. Keep writing and God bless.
Jackie Wilson04/24/10
Interesting plot idea. Unusual take on the story.
Loren T. Lowery04/27/10
Very well crafted and plotted. Not easy to do in 750 words. I liked the dialogue as well and finding the bread at the end...well, that just shows a great writer's instincts.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/27/10
Very original take on the topic. In the middle you used a lot of commas and that made it a little difficult for me to read. But the fantasy of the story is a wonderful idea and quite an unique take on the topic. I can feel that you put your heart into this story and it definitely shows your passion.
Carol Penhorwood 04/27/10
A very creative entry! Great job!
Catrina Bradley 04/27/10
You did a great job on this topic - creative and captivating, and not too far out of the box at all. A few punctuation and grammar tweaks would make this piece shine. I enjoyed the reader's adventure, and the ending was inspired. :)
Beth LaBuff 04/28/10
Wonderful! Extremely creative and so enjoyable. Love this!
Joshua Janoski04/29/10
I loved the approach you took with this. Very original and out-of-the-box.

I agree that cramming this much in 750 words would be difficult, but you did it quite well. I did get lost a couple times during the dialogue trying to figure out who was saying what, but a second read through made it clear to me. Probably because my head has been in a fog today not because you didn't write clearly.

I look forward to reading more of your writing. You definitely have talent. Thanks for sharing this with us. :)
Helen Dowd 04/29/10
What a great imagination. I read your profile, and I certainly am encouraging you to follow the career of writing that you have chosen. You have what it takes. Persevere...I did, and let me tell you, it feels great to have accomplished at least PART of a childhood dream, to be a published author...Thanks for commenting on my Challenge article...Helen
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/29/10
Congratulations in placing in the top 9 of your level. Good job!
Caitlyn Meissner04/30/10
Thank you for commenting on my article this week. I just read yours, and I really like it. I just wrote a "going-back-in-time-and-meeting-a-biblical-character story myself, so I know how hard they are to write. Good job! :)
Mary Knoll Santos05/03/10
I loved the imagery, and how you've crafted your words so well. Writing fiction and characterization from and within a Biblical account is difficult to do. It takes study and concentration to be consistent with the MC's POV is hard. You did a great job in your writing this. I'd love to read more of your writings. God bless you, fellow-writer! Congratulations on placing in the "Highest Rankings" Well done.
Gregory Kane05/11/10
This is very creative with some delightful insights.
I did notice one anachronism in that you had Paul referring to someone visiting from the 21st century. The practice of dating events from the birth of Christ didn't start until the middle ages. Paul would more likely have dated events from the founding of Rome. I appreciate that your story is based on a dream but it's maybe something you can watch out for in the future.